


Forever and Always

by SneetchesToo



Series: Heart Beats [1]
Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-03-28 00:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 32,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13892502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SneetchesToo/pseuds/SneetchesToo
Summary: “She sits by his bedside, holds his hand too tight.They talk about the kids they’re gonna have, and the good life,The house on the hillside, where they would stay.Stay there forever, forever and always;Through the good and the bad and the ugly.We’ll grow old together, and always remember,Whether rich or for poor or for better.We’ll still love each other, forever and always.”-“Forever and Always” by Parachute





	1. The Accident

**Author's Note:**

> *This was a prompt from Latina-cosas on Tumblr! It was supposed to be one-shot. Somehow it turned into 20 chapters with at least 2 more stories in the series! The title is inspired by the song “Forever and Always” by Parachute and it helped inspire the rest of the story as well, except, with an obvious happy ending! Because, as much as I love angst, I think everyone deserves a happy ending, especially these two.

Ethan was late. And Ethan was never late. In fact, he was always unusually early. Except for today. No today, he was late. And Leanne was beginning to worry. She had tried calling him twice but it went straight to voicemail, and he wasn’t returning her texts either. She knew he had been fine last night. They had gone to dinner after shift and then back to his place for a movie. Except they only made it about 20 minutes into the movie before they were both fast asleep on the couch. Which is where Leanne had left him a few hours ago when she went in for her shift.

A shift that was supposed to be combined with his, starting 45 minutes ago, except he never showed. She had asked Campbell about Ethan’s tardiness, and Jesse, both of whom seemed as confused as her as to why the normally punctual doctor wasn’t around. She had one last stop to make and that was Noa, praying that the perky young resident had a clue to her boyfriend’s whereabouts.

“Anyone seen Dr. Kean?” She asked quietly, the heads of the nurses near her all turning in her direction.

“She’s in dispatch.” Risa said, closing the chart in her hand and offering Leanne a smile. “Dr. Dixon needed a break.”

“Thank you Risa.” Leanne returned the smile and grabbed her cup of coffee, heading in the direction of the small dispatch room. She saw Noa’s head immediately and offered the younger woman a smile through the window before heading for the door. She entered quietly, and shut the door behind her before leaning against the desk. “Busy morning?”

Noa yawned and leaned back in her chair. “Not really.” She closed her eyes and ran a hand over them before sitting upright and turning to face the other woman. “Elliot said his butt was going numb from sitting here all morning.”

Leanne let out a chuckle and nodded her head in understanding. She had been in the dispatch room more than she cared to admit and she remembered all to well the ache that could take over after sitting in that godforsaken chair for too long. “Understandable.” She took a sip of her coffee before getting to the point. “I was actually here to see if you had talked to Ethan this morning.”

Shaking her head Noa sat forward in the chair, taking a sip of her own coffee, which she noted was cold at this point. “Nope.” She returned her cup to the desk and looked up at Leanne with questioning eyes. “Why, did something happen?”

“He hasn’t shown up for his shift yet.” Leanne’s tired eyes gave away more emotion than she let on, and Noa could see the concern in them.

“I’m sure he just ran into some traffic.” She reached out and squeezed Leanne’s arm, hoping to offer the woman some reassurance. 

As if on cue a voice came over the radio, staticky and uncertain, but they both knew immediately that something was up. The voice on the other end dragged on for a minute, the details of what they were trying to say not coming through very clear at all. Noa asked them to speak up but it was hard making out what was going on. Then they spoke clearly for a few seconds, and all Leanne heard was “there was an accident” followed by some more incoherent mumbling. Then came the part that pierced her heart right through the middle. “They’re bringing Dr. Willis in by ambulance now.” And then everything around her became blurry. The blood began rushing to her ears and she felt her knees start to shake.

“Wait…” Noa’s voice was shaky as she picked up the radio and spoke into it, “did you just say Dr. Willis?”

The voice on the other end mumbled something back, but between the static, the hollering in the background and Leanne’s racing breaths, Noa couldn’t make out any of it. She turned to look at Leanne, her face as white as a ghost and she felt her heart break. Not only for the woman who was like a sister to her, but also for herself. Ethan was probably one of her best-friends and she couldn’t even fathom what she would do if something serious had happened to him.

“Ask them to double check.” Leanne’s voice was harsh and Noa could see the tears falling, her shaking hands reaching for the radio. “Tell them to check again!” This time it was all but shouted and Noa reached out to pick up the radio.

“Please confirm the identity of your patient.” Noa said, her head bowing as she crossed every proverbial finger and said every prayer she could think of. _Please don’t be Ethan. Please don’t be Ethan._

“It’s confirmed Angels Base,” The voice that came over the radio this time was much clearer and sounded much more familiar, “one of the patients coming by ambulance is Dr. Willis.”

The gasp that left Leanne scared Noa, causing her to drop the radio to the floor. But she didn’t care. All she cared about was the man currently on his to way them in Lord knew what condition, and the woman currently behind her sobbing. Standing, Noa moved to wrap her arms around Leanne, shocked when the woman returned the hug, clinging to her tightly.

“Noa!” The voice that came over the radio this time was much louder than before, but it was still the same familiar voice. “Noa!” It shouted again, causing the two women to jump apart. 

Noa grabbed the radio and took a deep breath before answering. “What Mario?” 

“Meet us outside.” This time his voice was softer, the irritation from earlier having faded. 

Leanne reached to take the radio out of Noa’s hand and pressed the button to speak before Noa could stop her. “Is he okay?”

“Dr. Rorish?” Mario’s voice did nothing to betray his confusion. “I didn’t know that you were listening.”

“I can tell.” There was a hint of anger in her voice and Noa reached out to place a reassuring hand on the older woman’s arm. “Is he okay?” This time she enunciated each word and rolled her eyes when she heard Mario huff.

“I’m not sure. He’s on the other bus.” Mario braced himself for the impact of an angry Dr. Rorish, but it didn’t come.

“We will meet you outside Dr. Savetti.” And with that she dropped the radio and took off out the door, Noa hot on her heels as they headed towards the ambulance bay.

They rounded the corner just in time to see the ambulances pulling up, Angus and Rollie joining them within seconds. Leanne watched in horror as the doors to one of the vehicles opened and out jumped an EMT, Ryan something-or-other, pulling a gurney behind him. Ethan was strapped onto it, his left arm resting on his stomach, blood pooling on the bed next to his right ear, the laceration in his head deep and raw looking. She knew that she needed to move forward. She knew that she needed to go to him. To help Rollie and the residents with the patients. But she couldn’t. The sight of Ethan laying bloody and broken on the stretcher made her freeze, and she couldn’t make any of the muscles in her body work.

“Leanne.” The voice in her ear was soft, and she instantly recognized that it belonged to Jesse. She forced herself to turn her head towards him, biting her lip in order to keep from crying. “You go with Angus, we’ve got Ethan.” She wanted to protest. She wanted to tell Jesse that there was no way in hell that she was leaving his side. But she knew that she shouldn’t be the one taking care of him right now, her emotions nowhere near in check. So she simply nodded her head and turned back towards the scene in front of her. 

“We’ll take good care of him Leanne.” Rollie squeezed her shoulder as he wheeled Ethan’s still body past her and through the open doors.

“Dr. Rorish!” She heard Mario’s voice loud and clear from the back of the ambulance and she shook her head to bring herself out of her daze.

“What do you have Dr. Savetti?” She knew that if there was anyone in this world that she trusted to take care of Ethan it was Rollie, Jesse, and Noa. And just like that she went from being Leanne, the scared and broken girlfriend, to Dr. Rorish, the strong and unbreakable trauma doctor.


	2. Waiting Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I couldn’t resist posting another chapter so soon because I’m just so in love with this story and I wanted to share it sooner! Again, I warned you guys that the angst was strong, and I wasn’t lying. 
> 
> ***Also, this chapter features Will and Jesse being complete sweethearts and I will not apologize for that.

A few hours had passed since Ethan had been brought in by ambulance and Leanne had yet to get 5 free seconds to go check on him. Rollie had informed her that they sent him upstairs to surgery after stabilizing his injuries in Center Stage, the break in his arm bad enough that he needed more work than they could provide him. She had tried to go upstairs and check on him, but then her patient had coded and she had been brought back to reality. 

That had been 2 hours ago and she was still itching to see him, but Campbell had said that surgery was taking longer than they expected and that he would come get her when he was done. She had checked and rechecked all of her patients twice since then. She had also made and remade three pots of coffee, cleaned off the break room counter, and folded an entire load of linens in that time.

She hated waiting.

Waiting made her remember the events of her past that she was slowly starting to forget. Waiting made her think of a time when she was stuck in a hospital bed, no news of her family being relayed to her, the fear and anticipation tugging at every string. It made her anxious. And a little mad. But mostly it made her scared. Scared of what could possibly be taking so long. Scared that his injuries may have been more severe that Rollie had let on. 

“Leanne.” She was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of Campbell’s voice echoing through her quiet office and she took a deep breath before looking up. The normally stoic doctor looked tired, and she braced herself for the worst. “He’s out of surgery.”

She released a breath before removing her glasses and placing them on the desk in front of her as she stood. “I want to see him.” Her tone was strong and her face was set and she was damned if Will Campbell was going to talk her out of being by his side after everything that had happened in the last 6 hours.

“Okay.” His soft reply startled Leanne, for she was surely expecting him to fight her on the issue. 

“Okay?” She raised a questioning eyebrow and walked around her desk to lean against the front of it. “What aren’t you telling me Will?”

The ER director took a deep breath and motioned for Leanne to sit down. When she refused he sighed, clearing his throat before he spoke. “The damage to Ethan’s arm was pretty bad Leanne. Both bones were broken in several locations, his hand was crushed, and there were several deep lacerations on top of that.” He paused, watching for a reaction from the tired looking woman in front of him, but all she did was grip the desk behind her tighter. “We were able to repair just about everything, but…”

“But what?” Leanne’s voice cut him off and he could see her hands trembling against the oak desk.

“He’ll probably never be at 100% again.” His voice was soft, and he was fighting off his own tears after seeing the normally brave woman in front of him start to crumble. The sob that escaped Leanne’s mouth was earth shattering, but Will tried his best not to skip a beat. He took the three steps forward to close the distance between them and pulled the tearful doctor into his arms, hugging her tightly. “He’s gonna be okay Leanne. He’s alive, and that in itself is a small miracle.”

“How?” She whispered against his chest after a few minutes, “How did this happen?”

Campbell shook his head softly against hers and whispered back, “I don’t know Leanne.”

Leanne pulled back and wiped her eyes with her sleeve before taking a deep breath. “Can I please see him now?”

Nodding his head Will motioned for her to walk with him, opening the door quietly and holding it for her. She saw Jesse waiting for her on the other side and she took his outstretched hand without hesitation. The three made their way upstairs to the room Campbell pointed out was Ethan’s and they stopped in the hallway, the silence between them heart-breaking, but not awkward. 

“You stay with him.” Campbell pointed at Leanne as he spoke. “I’m going to go talk to the police, see what I can find out.”

Leanne nodded her head wearily and squeezed Jesse’s hand before letting go, reaching for the door knob of the dimly lit room.

“We will all meet here in an hour.” He clapped Jesse on the shoulder as he walked past, squeezing Leanne’s arm with his other hand before making his way down the hall.

Leanne turned the door handle and made her way inside, stopping as she crossed the threshold and got sight of the man on the bed in front of her. His head was wrapped in gauze, a small patch covering three-quarters of his right eye. His left arm was wrapped tightly in bandages and was resting by his side. She could see the cast on his left foot sticking out from under the covers and the cuts along his neck and shoulder were barely visible in the soft light.

She took a deep, quivering breath, and reached behind her, her hand searching for Jesse’s blindly. She felt him wrap his fingers around hers as he came to stand next to her. “What are his injuries like?” Her voice was hoarse, and Jesse could hear the tears threatening to fall.

“Leanne…” He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to tell his best friend just how badly her lover had been injured. He hated giving this news to people he didn’t even know. He didn’t know how to do it with people that he loved.

“Jesse please.” She turned to look at him and his heart broke at the look on her face. “I need to know how bad it is.” Her hand squeezed his as she spoke and he could feel her trembling beside him.

Jesse took a deep breath before urging her forward, moving so that they were standing next to the Colonel’s bed. “The laceration in his head required staples. There was damage to the tissue above his eye, but it doesn’t appear to have affected his vision.” He took another deep breath and cast his eyes towards the man who was slowly becoming one of his best-friends and his voice quivered as he spoke. “His left arm was broken in several places, as was his hand. Campbell said there was also damage to some of the muscles in his forearm, likely caused by the lacerations.” He reached forward with his free hand to pat the sleeping doctor’s arm gently. “His left foot was broken. Clean break. He’ll be in the boot for a few weeks.”

Leanne reached out a shaky hand and touched Ethan’s cheek gently. “Internal injuries?” She didn’t want to know the answer to that question, but she knew she needed to ask it.

“Two broken ribs and some bruising along his abdomen. There didn’t appear to be any internal bleeding,” He looked over at Leanne and spoke the words he knew she needed to hear more than anything, “and there’s no damage to his spinal cord or any of his vertebrae.”

The breath that Leanne let out could’ve knocked Jesse over if he was a smaller man, and he smiled slightly when he saw the relief that came over his partner’s face. “Thank God.” He barely heard her, but it was there, quiet and soft, and she said the words they had all been thinking.

Jesse squeezed her hand gently before releasing it and he turned her so that he could gently push her to sit in the chair next to the bed. “You stay here with him.” His voice was soft and the hands on Leanne’s shoulder only shook slightly. “I’m going to see what I can find out from Campbell.” 

Leanne simply nodded her head and turned her attention away from Jesse and to the man laying sickeningly still on the hospital bed in front of her. “Okay.” She whispered quietly.

“I’ll be back with the others in an hour.” He dropped a kiss to the top of her head, squeezed the Colonel’s hand once more, and headed out of the dark room, leaving Leanne to stare at Ethan’s broken body.


	3. Good Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Because everyone loves a good dose of Team!Family angst. This chapter hits right in the feels y’all. I may or may not be sorry for that! There’s also a small snippet of some Mario/Noa here, just for good measure :)

The hour that Leanne spent sitting alone with Ethan was one of the longest hours of her life. She had held his hand the entire time and she had gone from crying in pain to crying in anger and back again at least 6 times. She didn’t know how this was happening. She didn’t understand why. _Why her? Why did she always have to be the one to get hurt? Why couldn’t she just be allowed to be happy for once?_

Growling in frustration she kicked the extra chair in the room, causing it to fall to the floor and slide towards the door, just as Mario stepped through, a cup of coffee in his shaky hand.

“Jesse said you could probably use some coffee.” If the young man was phased by the flying chair and the tears in Leanne’s eyes he didn’t act on it. Instead he quietly made his way through the door, leaving it open slightly behind him, and stepped towards her.

“Thank you.” Leanne’s voice was rough, the hour spent crying silently doing nothing to help her already dry throat. She took the cup from Mario’s outstretched hand and watched as he picked the chair up and sat it upright, plopping down in it next to her.

“You’re welcome.” The resident’s voice was quiet, and he rubbed a hand across his tired eyes. His shift had ended three hours ago but he hadn’t wanted to leave until they all knew more about Ethan’s condition. He had slowly started getting closer to the older man, especially after his relationship with Noa was no longer a secret, and he was praying that the Colonel would be okay. He was also worried about Leanne and Noa. He knew they both cared about Ethan tremendously, both in different ways, and he knew this was hitting them both hard.

“Have you been home yet?” As if she was reading his mind, Leanne’s voice cut through his thoughts and he snapped his head up to catch her eyes. He shook his head back and forth and leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms over his chest. He felt Leanne’s free hand pat his leg before she took a sip of her coffee and leaned back.

“The others were on their way up.” He spoke softly, afraid that he would wake the man sleeping across from them, though they both knew that that wouldn’t be the case.

“Good.” She nodded her head slightly and turned her attention back to Ethan, her eyes scanning his body again, checking the monitor and committing the stats to memory.

As if on cue they heard the hospital room door open and Noa and Angus stepped through, both looking weary, their cheeks showing evidence of tear marks. Noa moved toward Ethan and she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before moving to sit with Mario, his knee becoming a chair, his arms wrapping around her small frame as she laid her head against his shoulder. Angus moved to stand on Ethan’s other side, his eyes mimicking Leanne’s movements from earlier, scanning his body and reading the monitor, committing his stats to memory as well.

Rollie joined them soon after. Ethan’s patient chart clutched tightly in his arms. He was the third person to scan the man’s body, his eyes checking for breath sounds, his hand moving to scribble down his stats on paper. He patted Leanne on the shoulder and gave Mario a sympathetic look, the younger man doing his best to calm the nerves of the redhead in his arms.

Jesse and Campbell walked through a few minutes later and Will shut the door gently behind him. He scanned the room quickly, ensuring that all the people he needed to see were here. He caught Jesse’s eyes last and he let out a sigh before leaning back against the counter by the door, his hands going to the front pockets of his lab coat. 

“I just got off the phone with the LAPD.” His voice was firm but soft and he looked towards Leanne as he spoke. “They’ve completed their investigation of the accident.”

“What happened?” Will was shocked when Angus was the first voice to pipe up, but judging on how emotionally drained everyone else in the room obviously was, he understood.

“Ethan was on his way to work on his motorcycle. He was making a turn when some young kid blew through the stop sign and hit him.” He took his hands out of his pockets and reached over to pull the paper off of the front of Ethan’s chart. “He was thrown off his bike and landed in the median. The kid then hit another car, totaling it as well.” 

Leanne let out a choked sob and Mario reached his left arm towards her, wrapping it around her shaking shoulders as he held Noa tightly with his other arm. “We treated two other patients from the accident, but they were both older. What happened to the driver?” Mario’s voice was shaky, but he asked the question they all wanted to.

“He fled the scene.” Jesse’s voice cut through the air like a knife and the grunt of frustration and anger that Angus let out didn’t phase any of them. “They found him a few hours ago, he dumped his car and went home to his dorm room like nothing happened.”

“How old was he?” None of them expected Leanne to speak, her hands holding tightly to Ethan’s as she shook.

“Nineteen.” Jesse answered, he prayed to God that that was a good enough answer for Leanne and that she wouldn’t ask the question they were all fearing.

“Was he drunk?” She asked the question even though she really didn’t want to know the answer to it. She couldn’t handle knowing that she almost lost someone else to an irresponsible man. She didn’t know what she would do if history repeated itself.

Jesse looked at Will and Will looked at Jesse and they both sighed, turning to face Rollie, praying the older man would speak for them. Rollie closed his eyes as he pulled the chart in his hands against his chest, his voice shaking as he spoke. “Yes, he had been drinking.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Mario’s curse was harsh, but everyone in the room was thinking it. “It was 8 in the morning.” Noa let out a shaky break against his neck and he hugged her closer as he moved to catch Angus’ eyes from across the room.

“So what now?” The young resident in Mario’s lap finally spoke up, and all eyes turned to her as she sat up in her companion’s lap and brushed the tears from her eyes.

“He’s going to prison.” Will cut straight to the point and didn’t miss a beat. “They have the whole accident on a street cam and several witnesses identified him and the car.” He stood up straight, his back leaving the comfort of the solid desk behind him. “It’s over.”

Except they all knew it wasn’t over. The steady beeping from the monitor next to Angus’ head made them all very well aware of the fact that this was just getting started for them. The man laying broken and bruised on the bed in front of them. The man who was normally the pillar of strength and light. The man who meant the world to all of them. He was just getting started on this journey, and they all knew what an uphill battle it would surely be.

“For right now, we keep an eye on Ethan.” Rollie’s voice broke them all out of their own little worlds and they all turned their weary, tear-filled eyes towards him. “Other than his arm, his injuries were minor and will heal on their own with time.”

“As for his arm,” It was Campbell who spoke this time, and his voice was stronger than it had been a few minutes before, “we do what we can to keep him comfortable. He’ll likely need another surgery or two down the road, and physical therapy probably isn’t out of the question either.”

“But he’s going to be okay?” The sound of Leanne’s soft, yet timid voice filled the room and they all turned to look at her, their hearts breaking even more at the sight of pain on the normally tough woman’s face.

“With our help,” Rollie reached out and wrapped an arm around Angus’ quivering shoulders as he spoke, his eyes connecting with Leanne’s, “he’ll be just fine.”

Leanne nodded her head and turned her attention back to the man laying in the bed. She hoped he knew how badly they all needed him to wake up and smile at them. She hoped he knew just how loved he was. How much everyone in this room cared about him. How much she cared about him. She just needed him to wake up and prove to her that he was okay.


	4. Waking Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Short but sweet, with our first look at some real Willish interaction :)

Three days had passed since Ethan’s accident and even though Leanne knew she was being crazy, she still couldn’t leave his side. He had woken up a few hours after the rest of the team had left, groggy and confused. She reassured him that he was fine, but then she had broken down in tears and had left the room to compose herself. When she returned a few minutes later he had fallen asleep again. She had taken his hand and sat back down next to him, and that is where she had been every waking hour since then.

Leanne knew that Ethan was okay. She could see it with her very own eyes. The steady heart beat on the monitor, the quiet rise and fall of his chest, the way he would curl and uncurl his fingers from hers while he slept. She knew he was perfectly fine. And yet she couldn’t help herself from looking up every 2 minutes to make sure. She checked his pulse manually over and over again. She would place her hand over his heart just to be sure it was still beating. She had even gone as far as to drop something on the floor to startle him just enough to wake for a few seconds before dozing back off. He was going to be fine. His injuries would heal and he would probably be hobbling out of here on his shiny new crutches by the end of the week. And yet, she couldn’t seem to convince herself of that. 

Every time she closed her eyes she was back in the ER 6 years ago. Hearing the words that her husband had died first. Feeling her heart breaking in her chest. And she couldn’t get the images out of her head. Except now it was Ethan’s body laying on that table in the morgue, not John’s. And because of that, she couldn’t sleep. She needed to convince her heart that he was fine, just like she had convinced her head.

Everyone was on eggshells around her too, making it worse. They all wanted to ask how Ethan was, but they were all afraid to get her upset, so they would just avoid the situation all together. She had even yelled at Elliot yesterday. Sweet, innocent Elliot. He had come up to check on her and asked if there was anything he could do for her or Ethan, to which she had screamed back that the only thing she needed was for him to be okay. Elliot had walked backward out of the room with his head down until he ran into Jesse, who quietly ushered him back downstairs.

Needless to say, no one but Jesse had come to check on her since then. Not even Rollie or Campbell. And poor Noa, who was a mess in her own right, hadn’t been able to set foot in the room since their group talk. Leanne’s heart ached for the poor girl. She knew that she loved Ethan like a brother, and she knew this was hurting the younger girl just as much as it was hurting her. She felt horrible. She felt horrible that she hadn’t been able to look Ethan in the eyes when he woke up. She felt horrible that she was hiding behind the closed door of his room. That she had simultaneously pushed every single person that she cared about away. And yet she just couldn’t help herself.

“Hey.” The soft voice filled the quiet room and Leanne had to do a double take to see just who the voice belonged too. Looking up, she saw Ethan was staring at her, his right eye still slightly swollen behind the purple bruise that engulfed the whole top half of his head. He squeezed her hand gently and shifted a little, bringing himself to sit up a little bit more so that he could focus on her.

“Hi.” She whispered back. She squeezed his hand in return, but she couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at him, instead she focused her gaze on the spot where their hands were connected, resting on the white hospital sheets.

Scooting himself up more, Ethan let go of her hand and reached forward, brushing his thumb along her cheek gently. “What’s wrong love?” The softness in his voice caused Leanne to tear up, again, and she shook her head back and forth to try and ward him off.

“Nothing.” Her tone was flat, and she moved her now free hand to her lap.

Ethan let out a soft chuckle, wincing when he felt something pull. “You’re a horrible liar.” Again, his voice was soft, and Leanne felt her heart start to race. She didn’t understand how he could be so calm and mellow about this situation. _Shouldn’t he be mad? Shouldn’t he be screaming for answers and for justice and for some relief from all the pain she knew he must be in?_ But instead, he was here, wiping the tears off of her face and worrying over her.

“Sorry.” She decided that being strong just wasn’t in her nature anymore and she looked up at him. The soft smile that he gave her was what did her in and she didn’t even try to stop the tears that came pouring out. 

She moved forward so that she could sit on the bed, but Ethan had other plans. He scooted over slowly, patting the space next to him as he raised the blankets up. “I’m guessing you haven’t slept since this all happened?” The question was soft, so soft that she almost didn’t hear it, and she felt guilty for doing this to him.

“Not a wink.” She whispered back, kicking off her shoes and climbing onto the bed next to him. She settled herself against his side and placed her head against his chest, as close to his heart as she could manage, and she finally closed her eyes. 

“Hm.” Ethan hummed softly, bringing his good arm to wrap tightly around her shoulders, pulling her close in the tiny little space. “Well you can sleep now babe.” He dropped a kiss to her head and relaxed back against the pillow. “I’ve got you.” With that, he closed his eyes and let the sounds of her breathing lull him back to sleep.

Leanne let out a sob, her hand fisting itself against the scratchy hospital blanket. She dropped a kiss right above his heart and finally let her body relax in his arms. She was asleep within minutes, her still falling tears staining his hospital gown.


	5. Life is Unfair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning! Spoilers for Fallen Angels and then some.  
> **Also, don’t kill me for killing off Ariel, I was really trying to amplify the angst there.  
> ***And then, because Will and Jesse being BROTP is what I live for, this is all about them.

That was how Jesse found them a few hours later, and even though he knew that they shouldn’t both be sleeping in that bed, right now, he didn’t give a rats ass. And he honestly didn’t think Campbell would mind either. They had all been worried about Leanne these past few days. Hell, they were more worried about her than they were about Ethan, and he was the one who was hit by a car. They all knew that Ethan’s physical wounds would heal, but Leanne’s emotional ones, those would probably never get better.

Jesse had been there after her accident. He had been the one to sit with her every waking hour, much like she had been with Ethan. He hadn’t been there when they told her John had died. He had come later, after she had been settled in a room. They had sedated her, her grief amplifying her physical injuries to the point of worry. He had sat and held her hand until she woke up the following afternoon. And then he had sat and held her when she heard the news that her two precious babies had been taken from her too. He would never forget the look of horror on her face. A look he had seen repeated in the ambulance bay four days ago. A look he never wanted to see again for as long as he lived. 

“They look mighty cozy.” Jesse turned to see the ER director standing behind him, his arms crossed over his chest, a soft smile on his face. He expected Will to be mad, they were breaking protocol and all, but he suspected that the doctor’s heart wasn’t nearly as small as he played it out to be.

“That they do.” The head nurse whispered, turning back towards the sleeping couple, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes.

“How’s she doing?” Campbell hadn’t seen much of Leanne the past few days. Other than in passing on her way to grab a quick shower or to get a cup of coffee. He had figured that if she needed him, she would find him, but otherwise, she probably wanted to handle this on her own. His heart hurt for the woman. She didn’t deserve any of this. Neither did Ethan. They were both good people and they were great doctors, and the tragedies that they had both already been through would’ve made for real good TV, but they didn’t make for good love stories.

“She’s here.” Jesse’s whispered voice brought the younger man out of his thoughts and he looked up, his eyes focusing on the weary look on the woman’s face, her fist balled tightly around the blankets on the injured man’s hip.

“It’s not fair Jesse.” Will let his guard down and turned to face the older man, leaning back against the door frame, his hands going to his pockets. “They certainly didn’t deserve this.” 

Campbell hadn’t been around when Leanne’s accident had happened. He hadn’t seen the grief and horror that lay in the aftermath of such a tragedy. And he hadn’t known Ethan when he lost his mother and sister within weeks of each other. But he had heard the stories, both around the water cooler and from their own mouths. And his heart ached for them. They both deserved to find happiness, and it seemed that every time they got close, something bad happened. 

The first time he had seen them truly happy around each other had been a few days before Ethan’s CO had shown up. Promising to ship him back to Afghanistan. Will had been happy in that moment, he was thrilled that the man who was a constant pain in his ass would finally be gone. But then he had seen how affected Leanne had been and he instantly regretted his joy. Then the whole outbreak had definitely sent them all for a whirlwind. Everyone’s lives had been turned upside down. But the look of devastation on Ethan’s face when they had put Leanne in that damned tent, that had sent shivers down his normally composed spine. 

They had all made it through the outbreak and the recovery eventually. Leanne’s stay in the hospital being prolonged for reasons Will still didn’t understand. And when they had buried Heather, and then a week later, Ariel, Leanne had clung to Ethan like a life-line, and he had clung right back. They had been inseparable ever since. And while Campbell knew that there were strict rules against them dating, he didn’t really give a damn at this point. He had lost someone that he had cared about deeply, and if he could go back and change things, he would do it in a heartbeat. He wasn’t going to take that from them. Not after everything they had both been through.

“No, Will, they certainly did not.” Jesse’s voice was strained and he was fighting off tears for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past four days. He just wanted this mess to all be over with. He just wanted things to return to normal. He wanted to see Ethan smile again. He wanted to hear Leanne’s soft laugh. He wanted to see his residents joking and goofing off with each other. He wanted Will to not walk around them all on eggshells. He just wanted this all to be some horrible dream.

The sound of footsteps behind them caused them both to turn, Rollie appearing behind them in the hallway. “We’re needed downstairs.” His voice was rough, and if Jesse didn’t know any better, he would’ve guessed that the man had been catching a nap somewhere in the busy building. “House fire.” He added, his hands going up to rub his eyes.

Will clapped Jesse on the shoulder and reached over to turn the light off in the small room. “Let’s go. They’ll probably both be out for a while.”

Jesse nodded in agreement, pulling the door closed behind him as he and Will followed Rollie down the hallway and back towards Center Stage.


	6. Good Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Here I go again with all the feeeels!

Ethan awoke a few hours later to the feeling of someone taking his pulse. The hand that was holding his wrist was shaky, and he had a pretty good guess as to who that someone was. Leanne. He let out a sigh that he hoped she wouldn’t notice and tried to get his emotions in check. The past few days had been a whirlwind, and while Jesse had explained to him several times what had happened to him, he was still fuzzy on the details. He knew that he was at Angels. He knew that he was injured, though the pain meds were doing their job because he felt very little. He had asked Jesse a dozen times to make sure that he had heard him right. _“The kid was drunk Ethan, fucking drunk.”_ The Puerto Rican’s voice had sent chills down Ethan’s spine. He had never heard the man curse in such a way before, but he understood his anger. Ethan wasn’t just angry that he had been hurt, he was angry that this was happening to Leanne, again. 

His heart broke for her. She was the sweetest, most loving person he knew and he couldn’t accept the fact that all these bad things kept happening to her. In the eleven months that they had been together she had shared with him a lot about her past, especially in regards to her accident. She had told him about all of the fears that she had back then, that she still had, and he had held her tightly after she had told him about burying her babies. 

Then they had both struggled equally during the outbreak, her from being sick, and him from worrying about her being sick. They had both worried about the others as well. Elliot, Mario, and Malaya, three of the strongest residents he had ever known. None of whom deserved to suffer they way that they did. And then there had been Ariel. Leanne had told him about the young girl upon her arrival, and he had pushed her to open up her home to her. When she had gotten sick, the look of fear on Leanne’s face, the heart break in her eyes, it made him want to take it all away. He had reassured her that Ariel would be fine. He had promised her that the girl would be okay. But then a secondary infection had set in and the fever rose beyond repair. And then Ethan had been forced to watch as Leanne held her hand helplessly as she faded away. 

He had been by her side every day since then. He had held her every night, even when she was still confined to a hospital bed, and he didn’t give a damn who saw. They had attended Heather’s funeral hand-in-hand. And then a week later, they had attended Ariel’s. It rained that day, thunder and lighting and the likes, and Ethan thought it was ironic. They had stood under the tent huddled together, Leanne on one side of him, Noa on the other. And when he and Leanne had finally left, he had taken her home and made love to her for the first time in almost a month. He had been sweet and caring and gentle and when his tears mixed with hers as they both came, he felt every fiber of his being ache with the love he had for her.

He felt her hand go to his wrist again, her fingers finding his pulse point, her breath even as she counted quietly to herself. “What are you doing?” Ethan’s voice was quiet, his uninjured hand pulling free of her grasp to run his fingers through her hair.

“Nothing.” Her voice was soft and broken and she was doing her best to fight back the tears that were forming in her eyes.

“Doesn’t look like nothing.” He gently tilted her head so that she was looking him in the eye, his thumb rubbing across her damp cheek. “I’m fine you know?”

Leanne just nodded, her head falling back to its place on his chest, her ear landing just above his heart. His beating heart. His big, loving, gentle, beating heart. And the tears poured out like rain.

She couldn’t handle it if something had happened to him. She couldn’t handle it if she had lost him. He was her best friend, her rock, her person. And she couldn’t imagine her life without him. After John had died she always swore that she would never love again. Not only out of fear of being disrespectful, but out of fear of having to face that kind of loss all over again. She didn’t want to put her heart through that. Jesse had made fun of her at first. Especially when he would catch guys flirting with her. But when she told him her reasoning, told him about how scared she was to get hurt again, he had backed off.

That all changed when Ethan showed up though. She had wanted to hate him at first. She really, really, wanted to hate him. He was smug, and his carelessness had nearly gotten one of her closest friends killed. But then she saw the way he was with the young shark bite victim. How gentle and honest he had been with the grieving girl, and her heart had fluttered in a way that it had never done before, not even with her late husband. From there things just seemed to get better.

She remembered the way her heart had broke when he told her that his CO was in town. That the man could get him sent back to Afghanistan, that he could be out of her hair in a matter of days. She hadn’t wanted him to leave. She wanted him to stay. She had gotten used to having him around. He always found a way to brighten her day, and he was always going out of his way to make her smile. She knew that if he left, she would be lost again. 

So when he had told her on the roof that he was staying, she had beamed. She was sure that the smile that came over her face with his news was probably goofy as all get out, but she didn’t care. She was happy. Really, truly, happy. And then he had asked her if she wanted to go get breakfast and she had jumped at the chance. They had sat at the little diner across the street for almost 3 hours, just chatting away. He had walked her back across the street to her car, where he had backed her against the driver’s side door and asked her if she wanted to go home with him, and she simply answered him with a kiss. 

They had spent a month or so after that dancing around each other, spending a few nights together here or there, but neither one of them was quite ready for a heavy commitment. However, that had all changed after Rollie’s surgery. Though the man had pulled through with flying colors, the surgery going off without a hitch, they had both been so emotionally exhausted after the whole ordeal that they had fallen into each other’s arms and spent the whole night making love. Leanne didn’t leave the bed before Ethan woke up that next morning, instead she stayed, and they hadn’t looked back since.

That had been almost 11 months ago, and Leanne couldn’t be happier. She had finally found someone that was truly her other-half. Someone who completed her sentences, who made her laugh without trying, who knew her inside and out. Sure she had loved her husband, they wouldn’t have been married for almost 15 years if she hadn’t. But this was different. Things with Ethan were, passionate and intense, and he was constantly surprising her. 

“I can practically hear the thoughts rolling around in that beautiful head of yours.” His voice was soft, his lips chapped against the cool skin of her forehead, and she snapped back to reality. “Everything okay?”

She swallowed back the sob that had been stuck in her throat and she ran her hand along his chest, stopping when she got to his jaw, the bruises there slowly starting to fade. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

“Hm.” Ethan squeezed his arm around her, pulling her closer to him as he waggled his eyebrows at her. “Anything good?”

Leanne chuckled and ran her thumb over his lips. Lips that she hadn’t kissed in over 4 days. Lips that had brought so much pleasure and happiness to her life over the past year. “Not that good.” She whispered, pulling herself up to press a kiss to his chin, then his cheek, and lastly his nose.

“Well darn.” He almost sounded disappointed, almost, and when he winked at her she let out the most beautiful little giggle he had ever heard. 

She pressed a soft kiss to his lips then, her hand cradling his head gently as she pulled back. “I was just thinking about us, that’s all.”

Ethan sighed as she tucked herself back against his side, and he closed his eyes as a rare wave of pain rolled over him. “I hope good thoughts.”

Pressing a kiss to his chest she closed her eyes, “Always.” 

She stayed that way for a few minutes before she finally dozed back off, her hand relaxed against his chest instead of balled up in a fist. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and took a deep breath. The pain meds must have started to wear off finally, because he was starting to feel a radiating ache in his arm that hadn’t been there before. He closed his eyes in hopes of warding off the pain and within a few minutes he was asleep again, his quiet snores filling the dark room.


	7. Babysitter’s Wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Because I need some Mario/Ethan love in my life. And Jesse being a protective mama is my jam. Also, Rollie.

The next time Ethan woke up he was alone, the spot next to him cold, indicating that Leanne had been gone for some time now. He stretched his good arm out from his side and reached up to scratch his head, wincing when he bumped the bruise above his eye. He moved to sit up and let out a wince when a sharp pain shot through the left side of his body. What he thought was a quiet groan must have been loud because the next thing he knew Mario Savetti came flying through the door, a panicked look etched across his handsome face.

“Ethan!” His voice was strained and he looked like he was probably having a pretty rough day himself. He reached out to steady Ethan’s trembling upper half, lowering him back down against the mattress, as he called for Jesse.

“That’s really not necessary Dr. Savetti.” Ethan groaned his retort, and sucked in deep breath as the pain in his arm escalated. “I’m fine.”

“Bullshit.” The younger man didn’t skip a beat as he pulled out his stethoscope and checked Ethan’s heart. His hands then moving to the man’s scalp, checking the head wound that spanned from above his eye to his cheek. “Your blood pressure’s through the roof.”

Ethan hissed as Mario’s hands made a move for his injured arm, and he tried to jerk it free, only causing another shot of tormenting pain to travel up his arm. “Maybe that’s because you scared me when you screamed my name and came bursting through the door.” He raised an eyebrow at the brunette doctor, but Mario wasn’t paying him any mind, his focus aimed solely on his arm.

“What’s wrong?” Jesse came flying through the door and Ethan could tell that the man was out of breath, meaning he ran from wherever he had been a few minutes before.

“I moved.” Ethan winced again, this time using his free hand to smack Mario’s head gently. “This doofus came running and scared the shit out of me.”

Mario rolled his eyes at the Colonel’s comment and turned to Jesse with a serious face. “He’s in pain, and his heart rate is elevated. He needs morphine.”

Ethan grumbled something under his breath as he sank back against the pillows. “Guys, I’m right here.” He hollered after a minute of watching the two argue over what to do next. “Maybe you should try asking me.” His voice was quiet, but firm, eyeing the two men as they both turned to face him.

Jesse let out a sigh and crossed his arms over his chest, setting his face in a serious glare. “What do you need Dr. Willis?”

“Ouch.” Ethan could feel the burn from Jesse’s stare from across the room and he suddenly wished he had just let them drug him so he could go back to sleep. “No need to get all evil nurse on me Jesse.”

Mario let out a slight chuckle, earning himself a glare from the man standing next to him. He plopped himself down in the chair by Ethan’s bed when neither one of the other men made a move to break up the awkwardness. 

“I heard yelling.” Rollie rounded the corner next, Ethan’s chart in his hands and a worried expression on his normally calm face. “What’s going on?”

No one spoke. Instead they all just shifted glances back and forth around the room. Rollie knew everyone was tired. They had all been pulling extra hours with Ethan and Leanne both down right now. And none of them had really slept much since Ethan had been brought in, but he didn’t understand why everyone was so tense all of a sudden. Reaching out, he placed a hand on both Jesse and Mario’s shoulders and gently turned them towards the door. “I’ll take it from here.” His voice was soft, and Jesse and Mario both nodded, casting a backwards look at Ethan as they left the room.

Reaching behind him to shut the door, Rollie let out a breath as he turned to face Ethan, sighing when he say the strong mask had faded, pain etched into his face. “What’s going on Ethan?” He asked softly, moving forward to get a better look at the man.

“I tried to sit up.” His voice was low, the pain now making it hard to even catch his breath. “Pain shot through my side.” 

Rollie gently reached out for Ethan’s injured arm, and held it up to get a better look. “Just your arm? Or your whole side?”

Ethan let out a pained noise as Rollie continued to move his arm around. Closing his eyes against the pain, and the light, he whispered. “Both.” He let a fuck! escape under his breath as Rollie placed his arm back down on the bed. “But more the arm.”

Rollie nodded his head gently and moved to Ethan’s IV, where he quickly administered something into the line. He offered the tired man before him a soft smile, but when he saw that his eyes were closed he knew that he should leave him. “I’ve given you some morphine.” Ethan nodded his head against the pillows, his body already sinking down into the mattress. “Try and get some sleep.” Rollie watched him for another minute, waiting for any signs of distress, but instead he was met with quiet snores. Smiling to himself he left the room, turning off the light and shutting the door behind him before turning to face his two colleagues. 

“Now do you want to tell me what you two were doing sitting outside of Ethan’s room in the middle of the night?” Rollie’s question was soft, but his eyes were glaring.

“I wasn’t sitting outside of his room!” Jesse threw his hands up defensively. “He was!” He pointed an accusing finger at Mario and Rollie slapped a hand over his face.

“It was all Leanne’s idea!” Mario’s voice was squeaky, something Rollie never thought he would hear, not in a million years, and when he removed his hand from his face he saw both men hanging their heads. 

“Why?” He already knew the answer to the question that he asked, but he wanted to see if these two fools were aware of why they were on babysitting duty.

“Because she’s afraid something will happen to him.” Mario’s voice was barely a whisper, and he cast a sideways glance at the nurse next to him.

“So she asked you two to babysit?” Rollie was confused. He understood Leanne’s worry, however, he didn’t understand why she had these two sitting outside of Ethan’s room in the middle of the night.

“She asked each one of us.” Mario let out a sigh and leaned back against the wall, shoving his hands in his scrub pockets. “We’re supposed to take shifts.”

Rollie let out a sigh and began pacing back and forth. “I see.” 

The three waited in silence for a few minutes, all of them unsure of what to say. They were all lost in their own little worlds, thinking about the man laying on the other side of the door, and his lover who was probably asleep on the couch in her office downstairs. None of them wanted to leave the man alone. None of them really even wanted to leave Leanne alone. And they were all struggling with just how exactly to deal with this unique situation.

“Did Leanne say why she wanted you guys to keep an eye on him?” Rollie’s voice finally broke the silence.

Mario sighed again and leaned up from his position against the wall. “She’s terrified that he’s gonna take a turn for the worse and that there won’t be anyone here to help him if and when that happens.” He hated giving his friend’s secret away. He knew that Leanne had told him that in confidence. But at this point, he just wanted to do whatever he could to help. He knew that he hadn’t always had the best relationship with either one of the older doctors, but lately, he found himself really starting to enjoy their company. They were both great doctors and mentors, but they were also great friends. And he felt that by agreeing to help Leanne keep tabs on the injured man, he was being a good friend. A foolish friend maybe, but a good one. 

Jesse let out a sigh that matched Mario’s and wrapped his arm around the younger man’s shoulders as he spoke. “She told me the same thing.” His voice was soft and he hoped he too, was doing the right thing. “She wouldn’t say why she wanted us to do it exactly, just that we keep an eye on him.”

Rollie nodded his head, closing his eyes as he let the information sink in. He understood where Leanne was coming from. He really did. But having Mario, who was half asleep himself, sit in the hallway outside the man’s hospital room was a little ridiculous. 

“You two go get some sleep.” He patted them both on the shoulder and gave them a reassuring smile. “I’ll go talk to Leanne. See what this is really all about.”

Jesse and Mario both wanted to argue, but they also knew that they both desperately needed to get some sleep, so they nodded their heads in understanding. After taking one last look at the door to Ethan’s room, they both headed down the hallway towards the elevator.

Rollie sighed as he opened Ethan’s door, checking on the sleeping man one more time. “I hope you know how damn cared for you are Ethan.” He whispered, pulling the blanket up to the man’s chin. He quietly made his way back to the door, shutting it behind him, and made his way downstairs to Leanne’s office.


	8. The Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Rollie Guthrie is my hero, so here he is being an absolute sweetheart and taking care of Leanne.

Rollie arrived at Leanne’s office a few minutes later and he knocked softly when he noticed the blinds were drawn and the lights were off. He didn’t receive a response, so he turned the knob slowly, calling her name softly into the dark room. He heard her sniffle, and the light from the hallway outlined her body, curled up on the small couch tucked against the left wall.

“What do you want Rollie?” Her voice was rough, and Rollie knew instantly that she had been crying.

“I came to check on you.” He inched his way inside and shut the door behind him, allowing himself a minute for his eyes to adjust to the darkness before continuing his way towards her. “I found Mario outside of Ethan’s room.” He decided it was best to leave out the part where he actually found Mario and Jesse fighting over what to do about Ethan’s pain meds, figuring she was probably better off not knowing that her boyfriend was upstairs suffering. “He told me that you assigned them to a watch.”

Leanne huffed and scrubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. Sitting up, she swung her legs over the edge of the couch and pulled the blanket closer to her chest. “I didn’t want him to be alone.” Her voice was so soft that Rollie barely heard it, and it broke his heart to see one of his dearest friends in so much pain.

“Oh Leanne.” He whispered, moving to sit next to her on the couch, his arm going around her shoulders as she leaned into him, sobbing softly into the fleece material of his vest. 

Rollie didn’t know what else to say so he just sat there and held her. Letting her cry it out. He figured he was probably the only person, other than possibly Jesse, that she would feel comfortable enough being this vulnerable in front of, so he took it. He had known Leanne a long time, in fact, almost 15 years. And she was one of the strongest people he knew. He had been there when she had gotten married, had helped deliver both of her children, and had seen every proud and happy moment in between. He had also been there when it fall apart. He had been the one to tell her that John had passed, holding her tightly in his arms when she screamed out her heartbreak. He had also been there with Jesse when they had delivered the news that both Caitlin and Eli had died as well. He could still remember the sound of her screams. The look on her face, the way her whole body trembled as he and Jesse held her tight. 

He had also been there for her recovery. He and Jesse and Neal had taken turns being with her. None of them ready to leave her side. And when she had finally returned to work, he had been the one to help her pace herself, the one who helped her get back on track. He loved Leanne like she was his own, and there was nothing in the world that he wouldn’t do for her.

“Rollie?” Leanne’s hushed voice brought him out of his thoughts and he pulled back from her enough so that he could see her face.

“I’m here Leanne.” He whispered, rubbing her arms gently with his equally shaking hands.

“Can I tell you something?” Her tone was quiet, timid even, and Rollie was reminded of a small child.

“Anything.” He replied, pressing a kiss to her temple before leaning back against the couch again, giving her some space and time to get her thoughts together.

“I’ve been having bad dreams.” She said quietly. “Nightmares really.”

“About what?” He turned his head to look at her, and the sight before him was truly heartbreaking. Her hair was a mess, something that he noticed she never let happen, even in complete chaos. Her eyes were swollen and he could see the darkness on her cheeks even in the blackness of the office.

“Ethan.” Her voice cracked at his name, and so did Rollie’s heart. “The accident actually.” She wrung her hands together in front of her and sniffled. “Both of them.”

Rollie sighed as he patted her leg. “What kinds of nightmares Leanne?”

Leanne took a deep breath before speaking, her eyes focused on some far off object that Rollie couldn’t see, or maybe it didn’t even exist, Leanne’s focus wasn’t something he was entirely sure of anymore. “They’re different really. Except there’s one thing in common.” She ran a hand through her messy hair, her eyes still transfixed on something in the dark corner. “Ethan’s in all of them.”

“All of them?” Rollie was surely intrigued now. “Even the ones about your accident?”

Leanne nodded her head, finally taking her eyes off of her invisible target. “Yeah. In some of them he’s there instead of John, and he always dies, just like John.” The catch in her throat made Rollie weak, and the older man fought back tears of his own. “In some of them, I’m there for his accident. Like, I see him get hit and I see him get thrown and I always try running to him, but I can’t.” She sobbed loudly and Rollie resisted the urge to pull her in for another hug, knowing that he needed to let her get it out. “And then there are others.” She paused, turning to look at Rollie as she spoke. “Where he dies here. Laying in his hospital bed. All alone.” The tears started falling at an alarming rate and Rollie pulled her back into his arms. 

“Oh Leanne.” He whispered against her hair, tears of his own falling and leaving wet patches on her head. “I’m so sorry.”

Leanne shook her head under his chin and sniffled. “That’s why I wanted them up there with him.” She swallowed, pulling back to look Rollie in the eye. “If I can’t be with him, I trust that you guys will make sure he’s okay.”

Rollie nodded his head at her, his voice failing him as he realized just how real this whole situation was. They had all almost lost Ethan. Not just Leanne. And that thought broke his heart. He had grown to not only respect the Army doctor, but he was actually pretty fond of him. And the way he treated Leanne, the way he made her laugh, the love her poured into their relationship. Well, it would make any father happy. He couldn’t imagine if something worse had happened. He didn’t even want to think about it.

“Have you talked to Ethan about this?” Rollie’s voice was soft, his hand gentle against her back.

Shaking her head back and forth, Leanne rubbed the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. “I can’t Rollie.”

Rollie let out a soft sigh. “Why not?”

“It’s only been four days.” She sobbed, leaning her head against Rollie’s shoulder. “I can’t let him see me like this.”

“Leanne, he loves you.” Rollie gently pulled back, moving his head so that they were eye-to-eye. “You know that right?”

Leanne simply nodded her head. The tears picking back up again at Rollie’s words. She didn’t want to admit to Rollie that she had doubts. Because she knew that was simply ridiculous. Ethan loved her, and she loved him, and she couldn’t imagine life without him. But sometimes, she wondered if he wanted better. If he wanted someone who wasn’t as emotionally fucked as she was. Someone who could, and would always, return his love in leaps and bounds, just like he did for her. She was almost certain that he would want someone who would marry him someday. Possibly even give him children of his own. She knew that she could never do that. And it killed her to think that he would one day leave her when he realized just how much she didn’t have to offer.

“Whatever you’re thinking in there,” Rollie tapped her head softly with his finger, “stop.”

Hiccuping, Leanne shook her head back and forth again, sighing when the older man took her shoulders in his hands and stilled her. “He deserves better.”

“Bullshit.” Rollie’s voice was quiet, but harsh, and Leanne knew she was being silly. She looked up, catching the humor in the man’s eyes, and she smiled softly. “You should really talk to him Leanne.”

Nodding her head, Leanne wiped her eyes one last time before standing, the blanket on her legs falling to the floor around her feet. She turned back to Rollie and extended her arms out, smiling when he rose and wrapped her in a tight hug. “Thank you.” She whispered against his shoulder.

“Always.” He whispered back, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her head and squeezing her gently. “Always.”


	9. The Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Okay guys, this chapter is rough. Like, the angst is super strong and the language is through the roof. However... it is probably one of my favorite chapters of the story because of how raw and real it is.

Leanne’s chat with Rollie had been five days ago. Five long, stressful, emotional days ago. And Leanne had had just about enough. She never did get a chance to talk to Ethan about what was bothering her so much, and her frustration and fear had been so bottled up that she thought she was going to explode. 

They had finally released Ethan earlier that morning. Rollie saying that after 8 days in the hospital there wasn’t much more they could do for him. He was eating fine, he had no problems with his eye, and he was able to get around with the crutches relatively well. Campbell was still worried about Ethan’s arm, but they all agreed that only time would tell as to how bad the damage actually was.

Leanne had quietly driven Ethan to his place after they both agreed that staying at his small apartment was better for him than her big house. She had offered to make him some breakfast, but his main concern had been a real “shower”, a cup of real coffee, and his bed. She told him that was fine and that she was going to run home and pack a bag right quick. She instructed him to wait to take his shower until after that, just in case he needed help. 

And that had been the catalyst.

First they fought over whether or not he was capable of taking a shower on his own. Then they fought over her “telling” him what to do. Then it was the coffee that she made. The fact that he refused to sleep on his back. The way she typed too loud while he was trying to sleep. The way he whined when his arm started hurting.

They fought constantly. All day. From the second they got to his place until this very moment. And Leanne had had enough.

And if Ethan asked her one more time, “What was wrong?” she was going to lose her ever-loving mind. She loved him, but right now, she wasn’t liking him very much, and it showed.

“I’m done talking to you Ethan.” Leanne was trying to stay calm. He just asked her what was bothering her for probably the tenth time today, and she had simply had enough. She had been trying to finally get in a nap, but every time she closed her eyes, she saw him. Busted and broken and dead. Laying on the table in the morgue, his eyes lifeless. And she had bolted out of bed without a second thought. Something that apparently, Ethan didn’t appreciate.

“Look at me Leanne.” Ethan’s voice was soft, but the hint of annoyance in his tone caused Leanne to stop in her tracks. 

“What?!” She shouted back, “What do you want?! Why do you insist on talking about this so much?” Her hands went to her hips, and then she crossed her arms over her chest, and then she ran her fingers through her hair. Her fidgeting doing little to help her nerves.

“Because something’s bothering you,” Ethan reached out his hands toward her, angry that he couldn’t just walk over and scoop her up like he would any other time. “And I can’t stand seeing you this upset and not knowing why.”

“Why?! You don’t know why I’m so upset?!” Throwing her hands in the air she let out another angry sigh, returning to her pacing as she gathered her thoughts. She stopped, her fingers threading through her hair again as she turned to face him. “I’m upset because every time I close my goddamn eyes I see an image of the man that I love laying on a table in the morgue.” Her voice trembled, as did her hands, and she stepped backward to lean against the wall. “But then when I open my eyes it’s not real. You’re right there. And my brain and my heart can’t seem to connect on that issue and it’s killing me.”

“What are you so scared of Leanne?” Ethan’s voice was raised, his anger growing at the stupidity of this conversation. “I’m right here! And I’m fine!” He ran his good hand through his hair and leaned forward. “I don’t get it. How many more times do I have to say it?”

Leanne leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. “I’m scared because I can’t lose anyone else Ethan.” She sobbed as she sank down against the wall, her head going into her hands. “I’m so scared that you’re going to leave me just like they did.”

Ethan let out a sigh as he pushed himself up on to his good foot, grabbing a hold of his crutches that rested next to the bed. “Leanne please...” He didn’t know what to say to make her feel better. He felt like he had already used what little sweet talking he had in him for the day. They had been at each other’s throats since breakfast and he didn’t have the energy left to fight anymore. “I’m sorry you’re so upset.” He gave up on trying to move towards her when he realized that she wasn’t going to get up from her spot on the floor. “Please just talk to me.”

“What is there to talk about Ethan?” Her voice was raised and she smacked her head gently against the wall behind her. 

“Anything Leanne.” Ethan let out a sigh. “Everything. Just talk to me. I love you and I just want to work through whatever this is that’s bothering you so that we can move on.”

“Move on?” Leanne let out a slight chuckle that sent chills down Ethan’s spine. “We can’t just move on from this Ethan.”

“Why the hell not?” Ethan screamed back. He was so tired of fighting. He was so tired of her not believing him.

“Because you were hit by a fucking car!” Leanne yelled, her voice so loud that Ethan was pretty sure he saw the picture frame on his nightstand shake. An image of the two of them taken at Christmas smiling back at him. He wished they could just go back to those people. Those people were happy and so madly in love that it made everyone sick.

“I know Leanne!” He held up his injured arm and foot, gesturing back and forth with his right hand. “I’m really fucking aware of that!” He huffed, dropping his limbs back down and shaking his head, fighting off another round of tears. “But I’m fine Leanne. I’m going to be just fine. I’m not dead.”

“How dare you?” She shouted, pointing a shaky finger at him. “How fucking dare you?”

“Whaaat?” Ethan clenched his fist in rage, his throat burning in anger, his heart racing in his chest. “I’m not dead Leanne! Look at me!” He waited for her to look up but she never did. “I’m sorry that you lost your family Leanne. I am. And I understand your fear and your hurt and even your grief. And I’ve been nothing but supportive of it all over the past year. But I’m not them. I’m not John. And I’m not dead!”

Growling in frustration Leanne threw the closest object at him, knocking him in the knee with her shoe. “I hate you!” She screamed back.

“Whatever Leanne.” Ethan sighed. He was done fighting. He didn’t even know how something as simple as asking her what was wrong would amount to all this. “I love you. And that’s never going to change. But if you can’t accept that...” He moved his hand between them slowly, choking back a sob, “then I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Whatever Ethan.” Leanne sighed, running her hands through her tangled hair. “This shit is a joke. You don’t love me and you know it. Why are we even doing this anymore?”

“I don’t...” Ethan was shocked. He was hurt and appalled and he felt betrayed. “How fucking dare you?” 

His voice was loud, louder than Leanne had ever heard it and she turned to face him with tearfilled eyes. “I can’t do this anymore Ethan.” She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Fuck you Leanne.” Words she never thought she’d hear. Not in a million years. And especially never from him. “I gave up my whole life for you. I gave up a fucking deployment so that we could be together.” He shouted, waving his good arm around in front of him.

Leanne’s face fell and she felt her heart stop in her chest. “You did what?”

Ethan sighed, sinking down against the mattress. “I was offered another deployment.” He ran his hand over his tired eyes and leaned his head back. 

“When?” Her voice was barely audible, and she picked herself up from off the bedroom floor with a groan.

“2 months ago.” He flopped back on the bed, bringing his arm over his eyes and he sighed. His head hurt. His arm hurt. But more importantly, his heart hurt.

“You...” Leanne choked back a sob and made her way toward the bed slowly. “You never told me.” She whispered.

Ethan let out a sigh and sat up again, looking at her with sad eyes. “I didn’t want you to know because I didn’t want you to freak out about me possibly leaving again.” His voice was hoarse, from all the shouting, or maybe it was from all the crying, he wasn’t really sure. “I didn’t tell anyone. Not even Noa.”

Leanne looked him up and down and let out a whimper, another round of tears hitting her full force. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to respond. She just stood there, tears falling down her face, trembling. 

She wanted to go to him now. She was so exhausted and all she wanted was to be in his arms. “I’m sorry.” She let out a breathless apology, her sobs becoming uncontrollable.

Ethan looked up at her through his tear soaked eyes and his heart shattered into a million pieces. He had done this to her. He had broken her. He couldn’t believe that he had just ruined all of the hard work that he had been doing for the last year and half. He had been fighting for her since the day he arrived, and he had just thrown all that down the drain by yelling at her like she was some stupid child. He felt ridiculous. He felt stupid. He felt ashamed.

“So am I.” He whispered softly, rubbing at his eyes angrily. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. And for whatever else I did that upset you so much.” He leaned forward, resting his elbow on his knee and sobbed.

Leanne’s heart broke at the sight in front of her. Ethan was normally so strong. So composed and so together. Yet, here he was, crying like a small child. And it was all her fault. Sobbing to herself she moved herself forward until she was standing in front of him. Reaching out, she ran her trembling fingers through his disheveled hair, praying that he would look up without her having to speak. And he did. Her hazel eyes meeting his blue-gray ones. And her heart stopped when he began to speak.

“If you want to leave you can.” His voice was nothing but a whisper. “I’m sure I can get Mario and Noa to stay with me for a few more days.”

Shaking her head back and forth Leanne reached out for him, her hands taking his face gently between them. “I don’t want to leave.” She said softly.

Ethan let out a sigh. “I think it might be for the best.”

Leanne let out a sob and brought a hand to her mouth, covering it as she tried to keep back the noises of pain and anger that she was dying to let out.

“I just…” Ethan sighed again and looked back down at his hands, “I think we need some time Leanne.” He looked back up at her and choked back a sob of his own. “We need to figure out if this is what we really want.”

Leanne nodded her head slightly, though she didn’t believe his words for a second. “Okay.” She barely got the words out before another round of tears hit, and she turned away from him, grabbing her bag off of the floor and walking out the door without another sound.


	10. It’s Two Am and I Can’t Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Don’t kill me but this chapter is right in the feels and it’s super angsty and I’m sorry. But... the team being all family like and loving on each other is what I live for. So here we have it!

Leanne’s talk with Ethan may not have ended well, but she didn’t have the time to worry over it. Because at 2:34 that morning she received a call from Noa saying that they were rushing Ethan to the hospital. All Leanne had understood was that he had a fever. A high fever. And that he was in immense amounts of pain. And that was all she needed to hear.

She had driven to Angels in her pajamas, not bothering to change, and she had been so shell-shocked that she couldn’t even shed any tears on the way there. She just stared straight ahead out the windshield, her body on auto-pilot.

When she arrived, Mario had met her at the elevator and she had collapsed into his open arms, her sobs taking over when she saw the tears in the younger man’s eyes. And she lost it. They stood there for a good ten minutes, clinging to each other, her crying only slightly more than him. And Leanne’s heart was breaking into a thousand tiny pieces. Just like it had 6 years ago. Just like it had in every nightmare she had since.

“How bad?” She asked quietly, pulling away from the dark haired resident. 

“Don’t know.” He whispered, rubbing her arms gently, whether to comfort himself or her, he wasn’t sure. “They took him straight to surgery.”

“Surgery?” Leanne’s voice quivered, just like her hands, and she couldn’t even put two thoughts together, much less two words.

Mario simply nodded, moving to wrap one arm around Leanne’s shoulder, slowly moving them towards the elevator. Pressing the button for the OR Floor, he squeezed her tightly and offered her the best smile that he could muster. “Campbell’s with him. Noa and Jesse too.”

Those words comforted Leanne a little. Knowing that her friends would never let anything happen to him. Knowing that they loved him almost as much as her. And that he was safe with them. She nodded her head against Mario’s shoulder and sighed, closing her eyes as they made their way up the six floors. 

When the doors opened, she was surprised to see Angus pacing back and forth in the waiting room. Elliot and Rollie both sitting quietly in the hard chairs, their heads turned downward, only looking up when they heard the ding from the elevator.

“Leanne.” Rollie jumped up, reaching out for the woman’s hands, pulling her into his arms with a soothing whisper. “He’s gonna be okay.”

Leanne couldn’t speak, she couldn’t move, so she just stood there, her arms wrapped tightly around her dear friend’s shoulders, her tears falling against his t-shirt.

“Jesse said they would come get us when they were done.” Angus’ voice was soft, and when Leanne pulled away from Rollie after a few minutes, she walked straight into the resident’s arms. She could feel his tears against her cheek and she choked back a sob. “He’s gonna be okay Leanne.”

She was tired of people saying that. _Because what if he wasn’t okay? What if he didn’t make it?_ But she understood. She had been in their shoes before. Trying to console a hurting family member or friend. She knew that sometimes, those were the only words you could muster.

Pulling away from Angus she offered him a nod of her head. “I hope so.” She whispered softly, moving to sit between Mario and Elliot, her head falling to Elliot’s shoulder with a sigh. She watched as Angus and Rollie took the seats across from them, both of them hanging their heads in exhaustion and worry. 

This was exactly how Jesse found them two hours later. And when he and Noa saw the sight before them their hearts broke. They quietly made their way into the waiting room and Jesse cleared his throat, causing the others to raise their heads. 

Mario stood immediately, making his way to Noa, who he engulfed in a tight hug. He whispered something in her ear, to which Noa just nodded before hugging him tighter, and Leanne wouldn’t have been surprised if it had been a deceleration of love.

She moved to stand next, making her way to Jesse, her eyes hollow and tired. “How is he?” Her voice was shaky, and she stopped just short of her best-friend, fearing the worst as he sighed.

“He’s stable.” Jesse’s words caused them all to release breaths, happy sobs leaving their bodies. “But he’s not out of the woods.”

“What happened?” It was Angus who piped up, and Leanne was glad for the young man’s bravery at the moment.

Jesse rubbed his face with his hands and moved to sit down, the others crowding around him quietly. “It appears his arm became infected.” Leanne closed her eyes tight and swallowed at Jesse’s words. “That’s why he spiked the fever and was complaining of so much pain.”

Noa nodded her head, gripping Mario’s hand in her cold one. “Campbell was able to clean the infection out, but Ethan’s body is fighting the antibiotics.”

“Why?” Elliot asked the question he felt like he should know the answer too. But when he saw the look on Leanne’s face, he knew why.

“He’s given up.” She whispered softly, the tears falling from her eyes at an alarming rate. “He’s given up and he doesn’t want to fight anymore so his body isn’t trying.”

Jesse shook his head back and forth and reached forward, pulling the sobbing woman into his arms. “That’s not true Daddy.” He pressed a kiss to her head and held her tightly. “That’s not true and we all know that.”

“He has a lot to live for Leanne.” Noa reached out and patted the older woman on the arm, offering her a gentle smile.

Just then they heard the big doors behind them open, and Will Campbell stepped through, looking more tired and defeated than any of them had ever seen. He didn’t speak though, just moved to sit down next to Jesse, his hand reaching out to rub Leanne’s arm, his head falling back against the wall with a sigh. They didn’t move. They didn’t speak. The seven friends just sat there, their gentle sobs echoing through the otherwise quiet waiting room.


	11. Couples Fight, it’s What They Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter is SUPER short so I figured I would go ahead and post it. I probably won’t update again until Saturday/Sunday so here’s a little Will/Leanne love to get you through until then :)

An hour later Noa quietly escorted Leanne down the hall to Ethan’s room. She held the door open for her as she hesitantly entered, and while she wanted to linger, she knew the older woman just needed her time. Squeezing her shoulder gently she nodded her goodbye and then made her way out the door, leaving Leanne alone in the dark room.

Leanne didn’t know how long she sat there alone, just staring at Ethan’s resting body. She didn’t even know what time of day it was at this point, nor did she really care. All she cared about was the man laying on the bed in front of her. The blanket pulled up over his chest, his injured arm resting gently on his toned stomach. He looked like he was just sleeping. A look Leanne knew well. And he looked so peaceful. But the stats on the monitor next to his bed said otherwise. His temperature was at a whopping 103.4 and his heart rate was still elevated slightly. 

She knew that the infection in his arm was to blame for his poor physical health. But she couldn’t help but think that she was responsible for his mental and emotional decline. She knew that she had been harsh to him yesterday. And she had let him grate on her nerves when she should’ve just let him be. He also hadn’t deserved to be yelled at like he was. He had just gotten home from the hospital and all. And yet, she couldn’t help herself. She had screamed at him about the stupidest stuff. Stuff that was so petty and immature. And she felt horrible about the whole thing.

She loved the man. More than anything in this world. And if she were being completely honest with herself (which everyone knew she wasn’t), she may have even loved him more than her husband. The thought that she had let someone she had only known for a year and a half replace that of someone she knew for almost 20 years, was terrifying. Her husband had been her whole world and she knew that moving on would be hard. In fact, she figured that it would never happen. And yet, Ethan had come along, and that had all changed.

One look into those dreamy blue-gray eyes and she was lost. His smile had done things to her that she never thought possible. And those hands, man those hands were a piece of work too. She hadn’t expected to fall for him so hard, so quick, but once she started, there was no turning back. She knew he was the one she was supposed to be with. She knew they were meant to be together. And yet, she was still terrified.

She didn’t know if she deserved him. Not after everything that she had been through. Not after everything that she had done. She didn’t deserve his kisses and his soft words and his sensitive hands. She wanted them. In fact, she very well may have needed them. But she certainly didn’t deserve them.

“He asked for you you know?” Will’s voice was soft and Leanne hadn’t even heard him behind her. The only sound in the dimly lit room coming from the beeping of Ethan’s monitors.

“Yeah?” That was all she could muster. She didn’t have the mental, emotional, or physical strength to say anything else.

“Before the surgery.” He moved himself inside the room, closing the door behind him quietly as he moved to sit next to the brunette. “He wanted you there.”

Leanne shook her head back and forth. “That can’t be.”

“True story.” He whispered, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder softly.

The pair sat in silence for a few minutes, the sound of Ethan’s gentle breathing almost enough to lull them both to sleep. 

“We had a fight.” Leanne’s confession caused Will’s ears to perk up, and he sat up a little straighter in his chair.

“Couples fight Leanne.” He squeezed her shoulder again, hoping to offer her some reassurance. “It’s what they do.”

Leanne turned to look at Will with sad, dark eyes, and whispered. “This was a bad one Will.”

And Will understood. He didn’t need to ask questions. He didn’t need to know the details. It wasn’t any of his business. But he understood. 

“He loves you Leanne.” Standing, Will left his hand on her shoulder as he spoke. “No amount of fighting is going to change that.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “Don’t forget that okay?”

Leanne simply nodded her head, reaching up to squeeze the director’s hand with hers. She turned and watched as he exited the room just as quietly as he came, shutting the door again behind him. Leaving her alone with Ethan once more.

Sighing to herself, Leanne leaned forward and rested her head against the mattress, right next to Ethan’s hand, and she cried. She let out a sob that wracked her whole body, her hand going out to grip his tightly. She couldn’t believe this. She couldn’t believe she was here, again. Sitting next to a broken man’s body, praying that God didn’t take him from her. 

The flashbacks to her accident had been intense before Ethan’s crash, but now, they were a hundred times worse. She couldn’t even imagine how she’d survive this.


	12. He’s Different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Here we have Jesse being the ultimate best-friend and the world’s biggest shipper. Also, there’s a little surprise at the end ;)

Leanne didn’t know how long she’d sat there, holding Ethan’s hand and crying her eyes out, but what she did know was that she was starving! She couldn’t even remember the last time she had eaten, and the growls coming from her stomach were driving her crazy. She wanted to go get something to eat, but she was terrified to leave Ethan alone.

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and she smiled to herself when she saw Jesse poke his head around the slightly open door. “Just me.” His voice was soft and he offered her a soft smile as he spoke.

“Hi Mama.” Leanne’s voice was dry and her hands shook as she ran her fingers through her hair.

Jesse moved into the room and shut the door partially behind him. “I was coming to check on you.” He moved to sit down next to her and rubbed her arm gently as he did. “We haven’t heard much from you since yesterday.”

“Yesterday?” Leanne shook her head back and forth and tried to stop the tears from falling. “How long have I been sitting here?”

“Almost 12 hours.” The nurse’s voice was gentle, and he offered the tired looking woman a sympathetic smile. “You were asleep for quite a while too.”

Nodding her head up and down Leanne turned her eyes back towards Ethan’s sleeping body, taking his hand in hers once more. “I’m scared to leave him.” She whispered softly, squeezing his hand as she fought back another round of tears.

“I know.” Jesse reached out and patted Leanne’s hand with his own. “That’s why they’re here.” He gestured toward the two heads poking around the slightly ajar door. “They’re gonna sit with him while you and I go for a walk.”

Shaking her head back and forth Leanne whispered a quiet “No.” But when Jesse gently removed her hand from Ethan’s and held it tightly in his own she knew that was what needed to happen. Turning to look at the two nervous residents standing in the doorway, Leanne offered them what little bit of a smile she could muster. “If he wakes up…”

“We’ll call you.” Angus’ voice was soft and he returned Leanne’s smile immediately.

“You…” She couldn’t even get the words out before Mario spoke.

“We promise Leanne.” Mario smiled as well, and they moved further into the room as Jesse helped the woman up from her chair.

“We’ve got him Leanne. We promise.” Angus’ whispered voice brought another round of tears to Leanne’s eyes, and she wrapped her arms around the younger man, letting out a soft sob against his t-shirt when he hugged her back.

“We’ll be back in a little while.” Jesse offered the two men a soft smile, wrapping his arm around Leanne’s now free shoulders, and escorting her out the door. After shutting it behind them he turned to her and asked her a question she had been pondering a lot lately. “You hungry?”

Leanne’s face broke out in a smile and she nodded her head eagerly. “Hell yes.”

Jesse chuckled and quietly escorted her down the hallway toward the elevator. They rode in silence to the first floor and then walked in silence to the diner down the street. Leanne was thankful for Jesse’s silence almost as much as she was thankful for his friendship. Once they had taken a seat and ordered their usual meal, Jesse crossed his arms on the table in front of him and eyed his best-friend curiously.

“So what exactly happened between you two?” He asked quietly, eyeing her over the cup of coffee she was sipping from.

Well he sure didn’t waste any time now did he? “We had a fight Jesse.” Leanne whispered softly, bowing her head as she spoke.

“That’s what couples do Leanne.” Jesse echoed the words spoken to her not long ago by Will, and she felt her heart twist in her chest just like it did then.

“No Jesse.” She choked back a sob and lifted her head up again, looking at him through tired, tear-filled eyes. “It was a horrible fight.”

“How so?” Jesse leaned back in the booth, knowing that this was probably going to be a long conversation.

“I told him I hated him.” She sobbed, and it broke Jesse’s heart in two. “He was just hit by a fucking car and I told him I hated him.” She wiped at her eyes and tried to calm herself, knowing that getting all worked up in a diner in the middle of the night was not a good idea. “I said horrible things to him Jesse.” She slammed her hands on the table, causing the man to jump slightly. “I threw a fucking shoe at him!”

Letting out a soft chuckle the man leaned forward again, taking his best-friends hands in his, offering her a small smile. “He knows you don’t hate him Leanne.” He squeezed her hands gently as he spoke. “I’m sure tensions were just high. You two have been through a lot lately.”

Leanne sighed and pulled her hands back, rubbing at her tired eyes. “I can’t believe it.” She shook her head back and forth and let out a soft sob. “I was so stupid.”

Jesse let out a sigh that mirrored hers and he tilted his head to the side. “You’re not stupid daddy. You’re tired and scared and your emotions are all over the place. It’s normal, remember?”

Nodding her head Leanne dropped her hands and eyed Jesse. “Yes Jesse, I remember.”

Holding his hands up defensively Jesse sighed again. “Hey now! I’m just trying to be helpful here.”

Leanne let out another sigh and she squeezed her eyes shut tight. “I know Jesse. I’m sorry.” Opening her eyes she offered the man across from her, her best-friend, her rock for the past 17 years, a small smile. “You’ve been great through this whole thing. You all have. And I’ve been horrible.”

“Oh please.” Jesse let out another chuckle, reaching for the woman’s hands again. “You’re not horrible. I’ve seen horrible remember?”

Leanne let out a laugh. A real laugh. Probably the first one Jesse had heard from her in over a week. And she smiled at him as she spoke. “Yeah well, it’s still early. There’s still plenty of time for me to throw a vase at your head.”

“Me?” Jesse let out a full belly laugh and playfully shook Leanne’s arms. “I was at least quick enough to duck. Poor Mike got the worst of it. You punched him in the damn face.”

Another laugh came from the other side of the table, and Jesse’s heart softened at the look on his best-friend’s face. He remembered the pain and anger that stemmed from Leanne after her accident. He understood her grief. He understood her sorrow. He also understood that she had to deal with it in her own way. He and Neal had done their best to calm her nerves however they could. But she had been a bundle of awkward, hate-filled energy. And at one point, they could no longer control her. 

He remembered the night in question quite well. In fact, it was one he would probably never forget. They had all gone to her house and Rollie had made dinner. They had been having a decent enough time until the doorbell had rung. A package had been left on the porch. And it had been addressed Eli. Jesse could still hear to sob that wracked through Leanne’s body and echoed through the whole house. They had all gone running to see if she was okay, only to find her tearing her living room apart. She had flung picture frames on the floor, thrown the pillows off the couch. She had then picked up a vase, and chucked it straight at his head. He was right, he had been quick enough to duck. But then Mike suggested that she calm down and she walked up and punched him square in the face. Neal had let out a laugh and if he had been a slower man, Leanne probably would’ve decked him too.

“Those weren’t some of my proudest moments, thats for sure.” Her voice was soft again, and the light that was in her eyes before had faded.

“And see,” He squeezed her hands again before pulling them back and offering her a soft smile, “you made it out of that mess, just like you’ll make it out of this mess.”

Leanne sighed and squeezed her eyes shut, pulling her hands free from the older man’s and leaning back against the booth. “I love him so much Jesse.”

“I know you do.” His voice was soft, and he prayed that he could offer the support she needed right now. Not just because she needed it. But because he needed it. He needed his best friend to be okay. He needed her to make it through this. To be happy again. Because if there was anyone on this planet that deserved a happily ever after, it was Leanne Marie Rorish.

Shaking her head back and forth, Leanne opened her eyes and looked at Jesse with a look he never thought he would see on her face again. A look that described every feeling he thought she had written off after John had died. A look that held all the intimacy, passion, and attachment she had once held for her husband. And he did a double take.

“Oh…” Was all the man could manage and he stared at Leanne like she had five heads for a good two minutes before either of them spoke again.

Leanne sighed and offered Jesse a thoughtful look. “I loved John, Jesse, I really did.”

“I know.” His voice was soft, and though there was so much that he wanted to say, he wanted her to just get this off of her chest. For his sake, and hers.

“And I loved the life we had together.” She was tearing up again and Jesse just wanted to take all of her pain away.

“I know.” Jesse repeated.

“But Ethan…” A small smile formed on her face and she shook her head back and forth, as if shaking an image from her head, “he’s different.”

Jesse chuckled. “That’s an understatement.” Jesse had liked John, he really had. In fact, he had been the one to introduce them all those years ago. He had been at their wedding. He had held both of their children after they were born. He had been there when Eli broke his arm and when Caitlin had croup. But that had all been because Leanne needed him. He had never gone out with John and had drinks. He had never been to their house for Christmas dinner or sat front row in one of their children’s plays. No, he liked John, because Leanne liked John. But he wasn’t crazy about him.

The man was as boring as they came. And the old Leanne, she was pretty boring herself. So the fact that they hit it off didn’t surprise him. They had a short, low-key relationship before getting married. And then John took a job as an accountant (because come on, boring was his middle name) and Leanne had settled into Angels. And that had been that. They raised their kids quietly. And Jesse always suspected that Leanne had been bored shortly after Eli was born. Especially when she called him constantly looking for some company. Some sort of excuse to get out of the house. Yes. John was boring.

Ethan on the other hand. There wasn’t anything boring about that man. He had like Ethan from the start. They were able to joke with each other, and he could always count on the Army doctor to have his back in a crisis. He also respected the man, because he respected Leanne. Even from the start. And the fact that he would do whatever possible to piss off Campbell. Well that was just the icing on the cake. 

He knew that Leanne had fallen hard for him. And fast. And she had confessed to him on multiple occasions how badly she wanted him (in ways Jesse didn’t need to know about). But he had been supportive. If that was what Leanne wanted, and that was what would make her happy, than he was fine with that. And then Leanne had told him about how they hooked up, about how it “wasn’t serious” and he called her bullshit from the start. Once they had started dating, Leanne had changed. She was bubbly and she smiled constantly. The improvement in her moods had been amazing. Even after everything that happened, and Ariel and Heather had been laid to rest, she was still much better off, in his opinion, than she had been.

“I never thought I would want to settle down again…” Her voice trailed and Jesse snapped out his thoughts to look up at her, his eyes going wide when he realized the words that had just left her mouth.

“Settle down?” He asked curiously, crossing his arms over his chest as he let out a huff. “Like marry him?”

Leanne let out a chuckle and eyed the man suspiciously. “I’m just saying Jesse. If he asked…”

Jesse beamed from ear to ear, knowing that Ethan had been carrying around a damn ring for almost three weeks now, just waiting for the right moment to pop the question. “You wouldn’t say ‘no’.” He finished her sentence for her and his smile grew when she beamed back at him, despite the tear filled eyes.

“I wouldn’t say ‘no’.” She whispered softly.


	13. You’re Crazy, but Not That Crazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Guuuuys... I need the Bromance between these two like I need another hole in my head... but in all seriousness, here we have Will Campbell being an absolute lovable dork, and Ethan Willis, being... well Ethan Willis! I hope you guys enjoy!

Life around Angels Memorial had mostly returned to normal, save for the fact that they were down a key player, and everyone had started to get back into a routine. Leanne had returned to work, sticking to shorter shifts, before spending a few hours with Ethan in the early morning, and then going home to sleep around noon. She would wake up and repeat every day for almost a week before Ethan opened his eyes again.

When Ethan woke up the first thing he noticed was that it was bright. Really fucking bright. And he felt like screaming for someone to turn the damn lights off. But when he opened his mouth, nothing came out. He felt a hand squeeze his gently before a face appeared over his and he was shocked to see a weary looking Will Campbell standing over him.

“Will?” His voice was crackly and it was so dry that saying that simple word had sent pain through his throat.

“Hey there Sleeping Beauty.” Will’s voice was soft and playful, and Ethan was thankful for it. “You’ve been out for over a week.” He offered the man a sip of water, and Ethan was even more thankful for that, his throat finally feeling softer and somewhat back to normal.

Ethan blinked his eyes repeatedly and tried to sit up, but Will’s hand on his chest stopped him. “What happened?”

“Your arm was infected.” Ethan watched as the director sat down on the bed beside his hip as he checked his pulse quickly. “You spiked a fever.” Ethan nodded his head at the man’s words. He vaguely remembered waking Noa up in the middle night because he knew something was wrong. The red head had fallen asleep next to him in the bed, Mario not far off, his tall framed crammed into the small easy chair in front of the window. “We had to do surgery again.”

“How bad?” He couldn’t believe this. He had been feeling great. Until he woke up at 1:00 in the morning and the world was spinning and his arm was on fire and he couldn’t hold anything down, not even water.

“You’re gonna be just fine.” Will offered him a gentle smile and Ethan nodded his head in response. “Few more days in here and you’ll be free.”

Ethan swallowed and closed his eyes. He wished Leanne was here. He wished he could see her face. He had been so upset after their fight. He had balled his eyes out to Noa and Mario like some damn child and he had tossed and turned before finally getting settled. He couldn’t bare the thought of Leanne hating him. He couldn’t bear the thought of never getting her back. He needed her. More than he’d ever needed anything. And it was killing him to think that she was gone for good.

“She’s at home Ethan.” Ethan’s eyes popped open, the doctor’s words startling him. _When the hell did he get inside my head?_ “She’s been working a normal eight hour shift at night. She sits with you for a few hours and then goes home to get some rest.”

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, Ethan offered the man a small smile. “She’s okay?”

Will nodded his head and let out a chuckle. “She’s fine. Almost broke my hand, but she’s fine.”

Ethan laughed in response, licking his lips before speaking again. “She’s a tough one.” The smile on his face betrayed his inner fear and the look on Will’s face told him that the other man saw right through it.

“She said you two had a fight.” Raising an eyebrow, Will poked, and Ethan was just loopy enough to bend.

“Yeah.” He sighed, reaching up to wipe his good hand over his sore eyes. “It was a bad one Will.”

Will chuckled again, the image of his two best doctors yelling at each other like an old married couple enough to lighten his sour mood. “Is that so?”

“She told me she hates me.” Ethan closed his eyes and relaxed his head back against the pillow. “I told her to go fuck herself.” Opening his eyes he looked up, the look on Will’s face causing him to laugh. “Well, in a manner of speaking.”

Campbell smiled softly and patted Ethan on the shoulder. “I’m sure you two will be fine.”

Ethan shook his head back and forth and swallowed back a sob. “I don’t know man. I don’t know how you come back from a fight like that.”

“You two belong together Ethan, you both know it. Hell, the entire hospital knows it.” His voice was soft, and Ethan was appreciative of the comfort the other man brought to the situation. He had once hated the man. He had once wanted to deck the man in his face. But that been almost a year and a half ago, and now? Well now, he was lucky to call the man one of his closest friends.

“I love her Will.” Ethan’s voice was so soft that he knew the other doctor had barely heard it. But for some reason, saying those words out loud right now was hard.

“I know.” Will squeezed his shoulder again and shook him gently, causing him Ethan to look him in the eyes. “And she knows too.”

Ethan sighed, “I don’t think so.”

Chuckling, Will poked his chest. “You wouldn’t have been walking around for the past three weeks with that damn ring in your pocket if you didn’t think she loved you.”

Ethan opened his mouth to respond, but he just couldn’t find the words. So instead, he let out a soft laugh and nodded his head up and down. “Yeah.” He sighed, offering the man a small smile in return. “I guess I wouldn’t now would I?”

The other man shook his head back and forth and offered up a laugh of his own. “You’re crazy.” He sighed. “But not that crazy.” Ethan rolled his eyes at the man’s comment, but he knew he was telling the truth. 

“Will you let her know that I’m awake?” He knew that she needed her sleep, but he needed to see her. He needed to hold her hand and kiss her and tell her just how much he loved her. And he would say it a million times if that’s what it took to get her back in his arms. “Please?”

“I’ll text her.” The doctor’s voice was calm, the look on his face matching. “But I’m gonna let her sleep if that’s what she’s doing.”

Ethan nodded his head. “That’s fine. I just want her to be able to make the decision when she’s up for it.”

Nodding his head, Campbell squeezed Ethan’s shoulders once more before standing, offering him a soft smile. “How about I get you your phone, and you can text her yourself?”

“That would be great.” Ethan knew he sounded way to excited about that prospect, but if he could just talk to her, even through text, that would make a world of difference. 

“Give me a few minutes.” Will moved toward the closed door and offered Ethan another smile. “I’ll send Rollie up with it.”

Ethan simply nodded his head in response, laying his head back against his pillow with a soft sigh, his eyes falling shut. The smile that crept onto his face when he thought of Leanne put a little pep in Will’s step, and he quickly left the room in search of Rollie.


	14. The Text

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter is full of all the angst and all the snuggles and I just cannot express to you guys how much I adore these two knuckleheads. I hope you guys enjoy!

Leanne had been five minutes into a much needed shower when she heard her phone go off from across the room. Curious as to who was texting her at 4:30 on a Tuesday afternoon, she paused her hair washing and reached out to grab the phone from the counter. The name that flashed across her screen was almost enough to make her drop her phone. Almost. Sliding her phone open, she clicked opened the text message to see words that she had been praying for for the past 8 days.

_I’m awake._ Stared back at her. _Can we talk?_

She let out a soft sob and she had to brace herself against the wall using one hand as she felt the tears threaten to fall. She hadn’t expected this. Honestly. She had gotten so used to him not being there, that now that he was, she didn’t know how to respond. Taking a deep breath, she quickly typed back.

_I’m in the shower. I can be there in 30?_

She knew that Ethan would probably chuckle at her response. He would probably even type back something crude, as he always did, and for once, she welcomed it.

_Wish I was there ;)_ Was his response, and she let out a laugh. She knew him far better than either one of them wanted to admit.

_I wish you were here too._ She hit send and placed the phone on the shelf nearby, resuming her hair washing so that she could hurry up and get out of there. She needed to see Ethan. More so than she thought she would.

While rinsing the shampoo from her hair, and trying to shield her eyes from the sting of the stray drops, she heard her phone beep again. Her heart skipped and she rinsed the rest off as fast as she could before quickly turning off the water and wrapping a towel around herself.

_I love you._ Flashed up at her from her screen and she let out another sob, her hand going to her heart as she read the words over and over again. _I love you more than anything in this world. And I will do whatever I have to do to get you back in my arms._

She ran her free hand over her face and swallowed before typing back. _I’ll be there in 20._ She hit send before quickly drying off and throwing on the clothes she had placed on the counter. Grabbing her purse and her phone, she slide her feet into her sneakers and ran out the door, heading to her car hurriedly.

When she arrived at Angels, she had quickly thrown her items into her locker and changed into her scrubs, knowing that despite the fact that Ethan was awake, she was still technically starting her shift in three hours. After making sure she was good to go she quietly headed upstairs, her hands clasped tightly behind her back the whole elevator ride up. She made her way down the hall with light steps, and she stopped outside his door hesitantly, her hand pausing on the knob for a few minutes before turning it gently.

The sight in front of her brought another round of tears to her eyes, but she didn’t care. Ethan was awake. And he was sitting up in bed with a goofy grin on his face. His hair was sticking up in every direction and she could see the color had finally returned to his stubble covered cheeks. Without thinking, she ran toward him, climbing onto the bed and wrapping her arms around his neck as tightly as possible. 

“I love you too.” She whispered against his neck, her tears falling onto the shoulder of his hospital gown. She felt Ethan tighten his good arm around her waist and drop a kiss to her head and she thought that for a moment her heart may have just stopped. She didn’t want to pull away, but she knew that they needed to talk. And as much she was loving being able to hold him again for the first time in over a week, she knew they needed to talk face to face. No matter how much she didn’t want too.

Pulling back, she offered him a gentle smile, her hands going to his cheeks and cupping his face gently. She pressed a gentle kiss to his still chapped lips and she smiled against his mouth when his right hand went to her hair and he deepened the kiss. He pulled back after a minute and held her in place, their foreheads touching lightly. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, his hand gripping her hair gently, his fingers threading through her still damp hair. “I’m so fucking sorry.” 

Leanne felt her heart break when she heard his voice crack during his words and she just kissed him once more, her hands moving to thread through his hair, knowing that the move would relax him. “I’m sorry too.” She whispered softly, her forehead returning to its place against his. “I’m really really sorry.”

Ethan smiled softly at her and kissed her nose. “Can we please never fight like that ever again?”

Nodding her head, Leanne returned his smile as she spoke. “Most definitely.”

They stayed that way for a few minutes, just staring into each other’s eyes, and both of them considered popping the question to the other multiple times during that moment. But both knew it wasn’t the right time. Not yet. Not with so much left out in the open. Not with so much left they needed to discuss.

Leanne pulled away first and while wiping the tears from her eyes she softly whispered. “I should’ve just talked to you about them.”

The tone of her voice broke Ethan’s heart, and he reached out to cup her chin in his hand gently. “The nightmares?” He already knew the answer to his question, but he wanted to give her an opening, instead of trying to force the conversation out of her like he had before.

Nodding her head softly Leanne sighed, leaning her cheek against the palm of Ethan’s hand, her eyes closing at the intimacy of the situation. “They were getting pretty bad.” She whispered.

Ethan nodded his head in response and rubbed the tears from her cheek with his thumb. “I know love.” His voice was soft and the understanding in his eyes was almost more than Leanne could handle. “I know you were struggling. I just wish you would’ve come to me instead of shutting me out.” His voice stayed soft, and Leanne was thankful for the fact that this conversation didn’t seem to be getting out of hand like the last one.

“I know.” She sniffled, wiping at her eyes with her shirt sleeve, and she reminded Ethan of a small child. “I was so stupid.”

Shaking his head back and forth, Ethan gently lifted her chin up, bringing them eye to eye. “You weren’t stupid Leanne. You were hurting. There’s a huge difference.”

“But I should’ve come to you. I should’ve let you help.” She hung her head again, her fingers playing with the strings of the small blanket laying across his lap. “I should’ve talked to you.”

Ethan let out a soft chuckle and bumped her gently with his elbow. “Well I’m here now.” He offered her a smile when she looked up at him, her brown eyes full of hope. “And I can’t exactly run away.”

Leanne swatted at him playfully before toeing off her shoes and swinging her legs onto the bed. She waited while Ethan scooted over as best he could and then she tucked herself against his side, pulling the blanket over them both, her head settling on his shoulder. “I don’t know where to begin.”

“At the beginning.” He dropped a kiss to her head and nuzzled her hair, the feeling of having her back in his arms something he truly wanted to relish. “Have you been having them this whole time? I mean, since the beginning? Or did they just start after the accident?”

“I’ve had a few since the start. After some of our scarier situations.” She closed her eyes, her mind flashing back to the fear she had felt when she watched Ethan try to remove a small bomb from that police officer’s leg. And then again when he said he might be leaving after his CO had showed up. She had thought that they would stop after they got together. Maybe knowing that there was something more concrete happening between them would be enough to calm her fears of losing him. But that had all changed after the outbreak. She hadn’t been clear headed enough to have many nightmares while inside the tent, but she had had plenty when she had been in her hospital room. And even more once Ariel had passed. She never talked to Ethan about them then either. At least not about the ones that involved him dying. No, she never told anyone about those. Not even Jesse. 

“They got worse after the outbreak. I couldn’t stop thinking that something horrible was going to happen and you were going to wind up getting sick too. And then Ariel died, and I kept seeing your body in that casket.” She sniffled as her tears ran freely down her face, staining his hospital gown once again. “After a few months they got better though. They stopped almost all together around Thanksgiving.”

“After we went away for the weekend?” Ethan knew exactly what she was talking about. He was pretty sure that that had been the weekend he had fallen in love with her.

“Yeah.” She smiled softly, the memory of the three days they had spent alone together coming back to her. “I didn’t have anymore after that.”

“Hmmm.” Ethan hummed softly, his fingers carding gently through her messy hair, tugging gently on the strands as he went. “We hadn’t really spent many nights apart since that weekend.”

Leanne felt a blush come over her face, knowing good and well what he was saying. As much as she loved Ethan, which she really really did, she was so sexually attracted to him that it drove her insane. And there was nothing better than being able to actually sleep together, after actually sleeping together. “I never thought about that.”

Letting out a light chuckle, Ethan pressed a kiss to her hair again and squeezed her shoulders tight. “Just a theory.” He offered, hoping that he could help her make sense of this whole ordeal.

“Then of course, after your accident…” She trailed off, closing her eyes tight against the images of Ethan’s broken body laying in that hospital bed. “I just…” She couldn’t continue, and she felt like a coward. She didn’t understand why this was so hard to talk about. Ethan was her boyfriend, her best-friend, and she was supposed to be able to talk to him about these kinds of things. And yet, her emotions still got the best of her.

“Shhh.” His sentiment was soft and she felt him press his lips to her forehead as he spoke. “I’m here.”

Tucking her head under his chin she allowed herself a few minutes to cry, feeling like she could be open with him for the first time. He held her tight, his arm around her shoulders, his thumb rubbing her upper arm gently. Every few minutes he would drop a kiss to her head or nuzzle his nose against her hair, and she was so relieved to finally be able to be this close to him again.

“I kept having nightmares about you.” Her voice was so low that Ethan had to strain to hear it, but he did, and it brought tears to his own eyes. He pressed a soft kiss to her head and got ready to speak, when her fist balled up against the blanket resting over their chests, and he froze, knowing that she wasn’t done yet. “I had some where I was back in time. I was there, when my accident happened. And I saw my babies laying there helpless and broken. But instead of John’s body on the ground, it was yours. And when I was standing outside the morgue, looking inside, it was your face I saw, not his.” She let out a sob, her whole body shaking with its force, and she tried to pull him closer. “Then I had some where I was watching your accident happen. And I try to run to you, but I can’t. I can’t move, I can’t speak, I just stand there and watch it happen. Over and over and over again.” She felt Ethan tighten his arm around her, and when he dropped his head on top of hers she felt his tears against her scalp. “And then…” She took a deep breath, knowing that this one was the hardest one for her to get over. In fact, this nightmare she was still having, almost every night since he had been rushed back to Angels. “And then in some, you’re laying here alone in your room and you just die. Just like that.” She gripped the blanket tighter in her hand and sobbed uncontrollably against his chest.

“Oh honey.” Ethan whispered those two words into her hair before he lost it. He cried big, fat, ugly tears against the crown of her head. He felt horrible. He felt like the worst boyfriend known to man. How had he not seen how much she was hurting? How had he not known? “I’m so sorry.” He whispered again, pressing another kiss down to her head.

The two laid that way for a long while, both crying softly to themselves. They were both so emotionally drained that they both felt like they could sleep for days just from the crying alone. Leanne closed her eyes and moved her head to rest it as close to his heart as possible. She smiled softly when she felt his arm relax around her, his hand settling on her hip, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the smooth skin just above her waistband. She got ready to speak when she heard Ethan’s voice whisper four horrifying words against her head.

“I have them too.” His voice was shaky, and his thumb stilled it’s movements against her side. Leanne felt him shiver under her and she pulled the blanket closer around them as she let the words process in her head.

“Nightmares?” She whispered, her hand falling flat over his heart as she pulled her head back enough to look him in the eye.

Ethan nodded his head softly, eyeing her through the tears. “Yeah.”

“About what?” She could see the pain in his eyes, and she wondered how much of that was from this conversation and how much of it was from his arm. She pulled her hand gently from under the covers and touched his cheek softly, then his forehead, feeling for any signs of fever.

“Losing you.” His voice cracked, and by the feel of it, it wasn’t just the conversation that was getting to him. Nodding her head softly, Leanne let her fingers tangle in his hair, and she leaned up to press a kiss to his chin.

“How bad?” She wanted to tell him to stop talking. She wanted to tell him that he needed to sleep and that she needed to get ready for work. But she honestly didn’t give a damn at this point. They were being honest with each other. And she didn’t want to break that line of communication.

“Bad.” His eyes were tired and sad, and he dropped his head down against hers with a sigh. “Mostly about the outbreak.” He whispered, closing his heavy eyelids as he settled his head back against the pillow. “We don’t find a cure, or you do something stupid, or you die instead of Ariel.” He choked back a sob and Leanne rubbed his cheek gently, trying to offer just as much comfort to him as he had just done for her. “It’s always different. Except for one thing.” She tightened her grip on his cheek, willing him not to say it. “You die.”

Leanne let out a whimper as she pulled her body up some, allowing her face to be next to Ethan’s on the hard pillow. “Oh Ethan.” She whispered softly, turning his face towards her. The look in her eyes said all she needed to know. That he was just as terrified of losing her as she was of losing him. And she kissed him. It was soft and gentle, and just enough to offer them both the comfort they were desperately seeking. When she pulled back, Ethan had his eyes closed and his hand on her hip had gone lax. Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to his temple, whispering softly against the warm skin. “Go to sleep love.” She pressed another kiss to his nose before settling herself back against his side, her head returning to it’s spot above his heart. Closing her eyes, Leanne finally let her body relax, and with that, they both fell into the first peaceful sleep either of them had had in days.


	15. Is That Pizza?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I know I’m spoiling you guys with these daily updates but I’m trying to get this story finished up so that I can start posting my other one before the season starts! 
> 
> *In this chapter we have Team!Family being freaking adorable... and Ethan crying over pizza <3 I hope you guys enjoy!

Several more days had gone by before Ethan had returned to his slightly normal self. He had spiked another fever in the middle of Leanne’s shift, and she had spent all night running back and forth to his room to check on him. He had been fine of course, but after their talk she hadn’t been able to get over the thought of something happening to him, and she wanted to be extra sure he was okay. The next day he had been fine, and the five days following that were spent in roughly the same routine. 

Leanne had taken to sleeping in the chair in Ethan’s room again and Campbell had had to threaten to kick her out completely if she didn’t go home and sleep in a real bed. Which Ethan and Jesse had backed up, much to Leanne’s dismay. Sleeping away from Ethan had been hard again, but luckily, she was so exhausted by the time she got to bed that the nightmares had been minimal at best. 

Ethan on the other hand, had become every nurse’s worst nightmare. First of all, he hated being a patient. Second of all, he was a horrible patient. Third of all, he was cranky and moody and whiny. Campbell had even told him that he would sedate him again if he kept his shenanigans up. To which Ethan had just rolled his eyes and pouted even more.

He hated being in this damn bed. He hated this damn hospital gown. He hated the crappy hospital food. He hated the shitty channels on the TV. He hated the IV and the cast and he had long ago ripped out his oxygen. He hated the beeping of the monitors and the poking and the prodding. But more than anything. He hated being locked in the damn room by himself all day. 

Sure, his friends would stop by and see him occasionally. Leanne would visit for an hour or two after shift, before going home to shower and sleep, only to wake and repeat. And Jesse would stop by and yell at Ethan for being mean to the nurses. Noa had even come by a few times, bringing him comic books and contraband sodas. But none of them stayed more than two hours. And dammit, Ethan Willis was lonely.

And as if his friends had heard his wayward thoughts, he heard the door open and there they were. All of them. Ethan offered them all a suspicious look, knowing that the shit-eating grins on their faces meant they were up to something. And it probably wasn’t something good.

“Yeeesss…?” He dragged out, raising an eyebrow when Noa pushed a cart through the door, the others scurrying inside behind her. They all situated themselves in various places around the room and he moved his eyes from each face to the next, waiting for someone to speak. Leanne tucked herself in her normal spot next to him the bed. Rollie and Will leaned against the wall to his left, closing the blinds in the small window with a smile. Angus and Jesse plopped themselves down in the chairs to his right, and Mario leaned back against the counter by the door. Noa however, stood still in the middle of the room, her hands still on the handles of the cart she had pushed in. 

“There had better be something good under that blanket or I’m calling psych on all of you.” He said, pointing his finger at Rollie and moving his arm, making sure to catch them all in his stare.

“Oh it’s totally worth it.” Noa said, the smile on her face more than Ethan could stand and he just shook his head, letting his arm fall around Leanne’s waist, pulling her against him. Noa reached down and pulled the blue blanket off of the cart, revealing the most beautiful thing Ethan had ever seen. Pizza. “We brought pizza!”

Ethan felt tears prick his eyes and he swatted at Angus when he let out a chuckle, his eyes taking in the older man’s appearance. He felt like a fool. A hungry fool. But a fool. “I haven’t had real food in days.” He said softly, eyeing the boxes curiously.

“We know.” Mario spoke up this time, moving forward to stand next to Noa. “That’s why we figured you’d enjoy this.”

Ethan shook his head again, willing away the godforsaken tears. He felt Will reach out and pat his shoulder gently. “We know how much you love a good pizza.” The humor in his tone caused Ethan to turn toward him, shooting him daggers as he blinked.

Everyone in the room let out a chuckle and Noa and Mario started handing out the pizza, a stack of leftover Christmas plates appearing from inside Rollie’s jacket. Angus pulled the box from off of the bottom and opened it to reveal a pile of soda. He passed them around the room as the pair finished up the pizza and then they all settled down to eat.

They ate in comfortable silence, all of them relishing in the fact that they could finally relax, all together, for a few minutes. Ethan cleared his throat and set his plate down on his lap, reaching behind Leanne to grab his can, lifting it up in front of him. “I would like to propose a toast.” All eyes were now on him, and he swallowed once more before speaking. “To good pizza.” He raised his can and chuckled slightly when the others eyed him suspiciously. “And to even better friends.”

A chorus of chuckles echoed throughout the room as everyone realized what Ethan had said. They could all agree that good friends was something worth toasting too. They all raised their cans and echoed Ethan’s cheer “to good friends” before all taking a sip.

“This would taste so much better with some rum in it.” Jesse said quietly, and everyone laughed before raising their cans again, echoing out “to rum” with soft chuckles.

After they were all done Noa collected plates and empty cans, placing them back on the cart and throwing the blanket back over the top. She pushed the cart into the corner and moved to stand with Mario, their hips brushing as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side. 

“I really do want to thank you guys though.” Ethan’s voice was soft, and they all froze, turning their eyes toward him. “You’ve been great through all of this.” He wrapped his arm around Leanne again, and he smiled softly as she tucked herself into his side, a small smile on her face as well. “Neither one of us could’ve gotten through this without you.” He whispered, his eyes catching Leanne’s, his smile growing as she returned it with one of her own.

Jesse eyed the two curiously, his brain confused as to how they could both still look so damn adorable given the circumstances. “You two make me sick.” He spat, the smile on his face betraying the words he’d just said.

Leanne let out a chuckle and raised an eyebrow. “Why is that?”

It was Noa who piped up this time, her voice quiet but cheerful. “You’re like a walking advertisement for Happily Ever After.”

Ethan smiled and pressed a kiss to Leanne’s head before speaking. “And what exactly is wrong with that?”

“Nothing.” Mario added, eyeing the two from across the room. “It’s just weird.”

“Well you know what they say, in sickness and in health...” Jesse added lightly, stopping when he saw Leanne blush, burying her face against Ethan’s chest. 

Mario choked back a gasp and the giggle that left Noa was astounding. Even Will let out a howl from his place in front of the window, causing Rollie, Angus, and Jesse to join in on the laughter resonating throughout the room.

“Can I least get out of this horrid hospital gown before we go making any trips down the aisle?” Ethan’s voice was soft, the smile on Leanne’s face growing ten fold, and he pulled her close yet again. “Please?” He eyed his co-workers wearily. His friends. And every single one of them knew exactly what he was saying. That it was almost time. Almost.

“Sure can.” Rollie said softly, offering the couple in question a smile.

“Besides,” Angus added, reaching out to pat Ethan’s leg, “no one wants to see your bare, white ass walking anywhere.”

Jesse snorted and Leanne felt tears prick at her eyes from laughing so hard. Will doubled over, his arm reaching out to brace himself against the cabinet. Mario turned around, his laughter bringing tears to his eyes as well. 

Noa just shook her head, her body shivering at the mental image Angus had just put there. “Jesus Angus! I didn’t need that image burned into my retinas!”

Ethan laughed even harder at the horrified look on the young girl’s face and he let his head fall down to rest on top of Leanne’s pulling her closer. 

Yep, his life was so much better off when he wasn’t alone.


	16. What Are You Waiting For?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This is a short, but sweet one featuring Ethan being adorable and Rollie being, well, Rollie. Hope you guys enjoy!

A few days later Ethan had been moved downstairs to a more comfortable room and he was starting to feel much closer to normal than he had before. He was still bored out of his mind, especially since he was still unable to get around much. He had eventually convinced Leanne to bring him something to do, and that took much more convincing than it should have. And even then, she had showed up with crossword puzzles! He had wanted patient files to read and update, or charts to check, hell at this point he’d read over fucking policy changes for her. He just wanted something useful to do. Something to keep his mind from wandering off into that gray area where he was still unsure whether he would make a full recovery. Where he still didn’t know if would get full use of his hand back. A place he didn’t want go to. _Not now. Not ever._

And then there was the fact that his mind kept taking off in the direction of a certain proposal he was trying to plan. He was still milling things over in his head. He had done the most important part, he had a ring. The simple infinity band, covered in small diamonds, had been the first one that caught his eye. And the sales lady had tried desperately to get him to consider other, more traditional, options. But he hadn’t budged. As soon as he had seen it, he knew it was the one. And he had paid for it right then and there, leaving the store with the small velvet box in the pocket of his jeans. 

He had carefully hid it in his sock drawer that night when he had gotten home, knowing full and well that Leanne was at work. It had sat there for a few days before he transferred it over to his back pack, insuring that he had it with him at all times. He had even pocketed the ring itself a few times, thinking that the right moment might strike him. But he had never felt the spark. That moment. They said he would know when the perfect moment was to get down on one knee, if he was even physically capable of that he didn’t even know. And yet, nothing. Sure he knew he wanted to ask her. He wanted her to be his wife more than anything in this world. But he wanted the moment to be special. She deserved that much.

“Penny for your thoughts.” He heard Rollie’s soft voice from the doorway and he offered the older man a smile before motioning for him to enter the small room. Rollie had been great the past few days, and he had come by to check on Ethan almost every day, for which the Colonel was extremely great full.

“Ha. I don’t think they’re quite worth that much.” Ethan let out a soft chuckle and moved himself to sit up in the uncomfortable bed. He hated this damn thing. The mattress was hard and the pillow was too flat and because of the damned IV they still insisted on, he couldn’t sleep in any position other than flat on his back. Which was now sore. As was his butt. And he hated it.

“I find that hard to believe.” The doctor offered him a soft smile and sat down in the chair next to the bed before speaking again. “Care to share what’s troubling you son?”

Nodding his head Ethan closed his eyes for a second, opening them back up and looking the older man in the eyes. “I wanna propose to Leanne.”

Rollie let out a chuckle and patted Ethan’s hand gently. “I know son. We all do.”

“No.” Ethan let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes once more, trying to gain the courage to have this conversation out loud. Sure Rollie was his colleague, one of his best-friends even, but he still didn’t know if he could talk to him about this. He didn’t know if he could talk to anyone about this really. “I mean, I wanna do it now. Or soon at least?”

Nodding his head, the older doctor leaned back in his chair, his arms relaxing by his side as he eyed the younger man curiously. “How soon?”

“How soon do you think I can get the hell out of this damn place?” He knew his question came out harsher than he intended, but Rollie didn’t seem to mind. “It’s just, after everything we’ve been through, I just feel like it’s time. I mean, I’ve had the ring for a month and I’ve never had the urge to actually ask, but now. Now I just want to get it done.”

“Does this have anything to do with Jesse’s comment the other night?” The older man knew that Jesse had been joking, but by the blushes that had crept over the pair’s faces, he was certain that there was more truth to it than they wanted to admit.

“Yeah.” Rubbing his hand over his face he let out a chuckle. “I mean, he’s right. We have kind of done all of the hard shit together already. All that’s really missing is a house and a baby right?”

Rollie let out another soft chuckle and nodded his head. “You would be correct my dear friend.”

“So I should do it right?” Ethan knew he wanted to do it. He knew with every fiber of his being that he wanted to ask her the most important question in the world. But he didn’t know how receptive she would be to the whole idea. She had been married once before. She’d already had a fancy wedding and gone on a nice honeymoon. She had already done the white picket fence, two kids, and a dog thing. He didn’t know if she would be ready for all of that again. “Do you think she’s ready?”

Sighing, the other doctor reached out and patted Ethan’s arm. “Do you think she’s ready?”

This conversation was becoming more than Ethan had bargained for and he let out a choked sob, tilting his head back against the pillow, willing the tears away. “I hope she’s ready.” He opened his eyes again and turned back towards his friend. “But I don’t know if she is. What she’s been through. Losing everyone like that. I don’t know if I have the right to ask her to replace all of that with something new.”

“She wouldn’t be replacing it Ethan, you know that.” He squeezed his arm this time, offering him a sympathetic smile and soft eyes. “She loves you. I think she knows that if you two stay together this would be the inevitable outcome.”

Ethan nodded his head again and sighed once more. “I don’t know Rollie…”

“You know who you need to talk too?” He asked softly, his eyes growing some at the thought of how the suggested conversation would go.

“Leanne?” Ethan figured that was the obvious answer.

Rollie shook his head back and forth with a soft laugh, letting go of Ethan’s arm as he stood. “Jesse.” He said wisely, pointing at Ethan as he made his way to the door. “Ask Jesse, he knows everything.”

Chuckling at the older man’s answer, Ethan nodded his head as he replied. “Will do.


	17. Girl Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Here we have Leanne and Noa doing a little bonding. And talking about Leanne and Ethan’s future!  
> **I hope you guys are enjoying! There’s only 3 more chapters left after this :(

Leanne felt like life had finally started to settle down and become somewhat normal again. She had returned to a pretty normal schedule after Ethan’s midnight trip to the ER, and she had slowly started lessening her visits to his room throughout the day. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be with him. She wanted to be with him every second of the day. And that was the problem. She needed to get back to normal. She needed to start working longer shifts and showering for longer than two minutes at a time. She needed to eat regular meals again and sleep in her own bed every night. She needed a lot of things, and while Ethan was still one of them, normal was more important right now.

She knew that when Ethan was finally able to come home she would have to lose some of her normal again. And she didn’t mind one bit. Being able to actually spend time with him without the constant bugging of the nurses, the constant chatter of the staff who just wanted to be nosy, that would be nice. She had talked with Will and managed to get a whole week of uninterrupted time off. And while she knew that she would probably go stir-crazy sitting in Ethan’s apartment and staring at him for seven straight days, she was thankful that she still had Ethan to stare at.

There was also the problem of the constant looming prospect of a marriage proposal in her future. Though she was fairly certain that Ethan had been 100 percent joking when he had made that comment, there had been a shared look around the room that had sent butterflies straight to her stomach. 

Did she love Ethan? _More than anything._

Did she want to spend the rest of her life with him? _Most definitely._

Did she want to be his wife? _Frighteningly, the answer to that question was also, yes._

She wanted a chance to start over. A second chance at a happy ending. And she knew that if there was anyone that she wanted that with, it was Ethan. He made her happier than she had ever been. And while they had obviously had some bumps in their relationship, she had never loved someone so much before. Not even her husband. And while that idea used to scare her, it no longer did. Because she understood that people changed and they grew up and they moved on. And while she would never stop mourning the loss of her husband and children, she was finally okay with moving on from it.

“Everything okay Dr. Rorish?” Leanne snapped her head up, her mind returning to the present, at the sound of the young resident’s voice from her office doorway.

“Yeah Noa, everything’s fine.” She let out a chuckle at the look on the red head’s face and she knew she had been caught. “What’s up?”

“Just wondering if you wanted to go get some coffee.” The younger woman offered a soft smile, a peace offering of sorts, for interrupting his thoughts. “Angus said you’ve been cooped up in here for a while.”

Leanne set her pen down on top of her file and glanced at the time on her phone. Letting out a sigh when she realized that she’d been sitting there for four straight hours, she removed her glasses and returned Noa’s smile. “I would love that.”

The two had walked in silence towards the coffee shop next door, both trying to get their thoughts in order before speaking up. Leanne had paid for the coffee, to which Noa had huffed, it had been her invitation and all, and they had made their way to a small table on the patio. Leanne was the first to break the silence and her statement almost knocked Noa over. In fact, if Noa had been standing, she surely would’ve lost her balance. 

“I think I want to marry Ethan.” She had whispered softly, her eyes slightly damp at the thought of bringing up such a touchy topic with the other woman.

Noa opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Sure she knew they loved each other, that much was evident. And she was painfully aware of the ring that Ethan had been toting around with him for the past month. But she never actually heard Leanne say anything remotely close to indicating that she was ready for such a big step. She was thrilled to say the least, but she was shocked, and it showed.

“It would be weird wouldn’t it?” Leanne’s voice was shaky and she took a sip of her coffee to try and calm her nerves. “It’s too soon right? I mean, after everything. We should give it some more time…”

“Wait!” Noa could tell the woman was about to ramble, and she didn’t want her to get the wrong impression. She didn’t want her to think that something was wrong with her desire to marry the Army doctor. “Stop Leanne. Slow down.”

Leanne took a deep breath and looked up, her eyes meeting Noa’s across the table and she sighed before speaking again. “What are your thoughts?”

“My thoughts?” Noa wanted to scream at her that it was about damn time. She wanted to swoon over the idea with her. She wanted to start shopping for wedding dresses for the older woman, yesterday. But she knew she had to be delicate. She knew Leanne needed a confidant, just as much as she needed a girl friend. “I think it’s a good idea.”

“Really?” The surprise in Leanne’s question almost hurt Noa’s feelings, almost. But she was a bigger person than that.

“Yes, Leanne, really.” She let out a light chuckle before taking a few sips of her own coffee, taking a minute to gather her thoughts as well. “Ethan loves you more than anything in this world. You know that right?”

Nodding her head, Leanne’s face lit up in a giant smile as she thought of the man. “Yes, of that I am certain.”

Noa laughed softly before continuing. “It’s the next logical move is it not?”

Leanne sighed, shaking her head back and forth as she spoke, her voice barely a whisper. “There’s nothing logical about any of this.”

Noa felt horrible for her choice of words. She felt like an ass. She was officially the worst friend ever. Reaching over, she took Leanne’s hands gently in hers and squeezed. “Leanne, I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that marrying you, would make Ethan the happiest man alive.”

The smile that came over Leanne’s face brought tears to both of their eyes and they shared a laugh. “You think so?”

“I know so.” Noa said confidently, praying that she wasn’t giving away the fact that she had had this conversation with the man in question over a month ago. He had approached Noa right before Christmas and asked her if she thought that buying a ring would be too impulsive. She had told Ethan ‘no’, that she thought it was crazy that he hadn’t pondered the idea more, and when he had pulled the velvet box out of his sock drawer later that night she had jumped up and down and squeed like a small child. She had hugged Ethan tightly before taking the ring and giving a closer look. It was beautiful. Simple, yet beautiful, and she knew that Leanne would love the softness the piece of jewelry presented. She had been waiting on eggshells every minute since then. And every time Ethan or Leanne would text or call her while they were away from the hospital, she would hold her breath in anticipation of the news. Of course, that news had yet to come, but she knew that it was just a matter of time.

“Okay.” Leanne’s soft reply brought Noa out of her thoughts and she offered the older woman another big smile.

“Besides Leanne,” Noa figured she should go big or go home on this one, “I think it’s kind of crazy that you two aren’t already sharing a last name.”

Leanne let out a laugh, a real laugh, one that shook her whole body, and she eyed the young red head curiously. “It does seem like it should already be a thing right?” She looked down at her left hand, imagining what it would look like with a ring on it after 6 years of being bare. She liked the idea, especially if it was put there by a certain ruggedly handsome Army Colonel. 

Noa nodded her head back, agreeing with the doctor’s sentiment, and offered her another smile. “I’ll be waiting with bated breath.” She whispered, gripping Leanne’s left hand from across the table.

“That makes two of us dear.” Leanne smiled softly, her heart racing at the thought that this moment could be happening any day now. While it terrified her, the love and joy she felt in her heart toward the man, overwrote all of that fear. “That makes two of us.”


	18. Mama Knows Best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Here we have the ultimate BROTP discussing Ethan and Leanne’s future.  
> **Also, Ethan has a very important question for Jesse!

The following day Ethan was surprised to see that it was Jesse who brought him his discharge papers, rather, he had been hoping (and expecting) that it would be Leanne. He knew the head nurse must have some reasoning for bursting his bubble. After all, Jesse didn’t do anything he didn’t want to. And he always had a reason, even it didn’t make much sense to anyone else.

“You know Jesse,” Ethan piped up as the man was disconnecting his wires from the machine silently, “as much as I love you, your’s isn’t the beautiful face I expected to see this early in the morning.”

“Ha.” Jesse’s chuckle made Ethan raise an eyebrow, eyeing the man suspiciously as he finished with the machine behind him.

“But I figure you must have a good reason for this right?” Ethan moved his left arm around some, and it felt foreign to finally have the use of the other side of his body back.

“Always mi amigo.” His comment made Ethan chuckle and he swung his legs around in front of him, letting them dangle off the edge of the bed. He stared down at his bare feet, one covered by a small brace, the other looking annoyingly pale. While he had been recovering from his infection, and the subsequent surgery that followed, his foot had healed rather nicely, and he was down to just a simple brace. No more boot. No more crutches. And Ethan was thankful for the slight return to normalcy this provided him.

“What’s up Jesse?” His question was soft and he hung his head, praying he wasn’t about to get a lashing from the other man.

“We need to talk about you and Leanne.” Ethan’s head popped up at his sentence, and he eyed Jesse’s pointed finger curiously. “But first,” He reached behind him and grabbed a bag off of the counter, “put some clothes on please. I’m tired of staring at your white ass in that damm gown.”

Ethan howled and took the bag from Jesse before slowly making his way behind the small curtain on the other side of the room. He pulled it closed and emptied the contents of the bag onto the chair, letting his gown fall to the floor. “So what exactly do we need to talk about Jesse?” He asked his question as he pulled his boxers on, followed by his t-shirt. He had never been so thankful for real clothes in his entire life and he let out a sigh of contentment.

“That box you’ve been carrying around in your pocket for the last month for starters.” Ethan shook his head at the nurse’s words and pulled his sweatpants up slowly. He dug his hands into his pockets as he slid his feet into the pair of flip-flops Jesse had provided and he let out a breath when he felt something in the right pocket.

“You mean this box?” He asked, pushing the curtain back to reveal himself, the ring box in his outstretched hand, a goofy smile on his face.

“Now how did that get in there?” Jesse asked playfully, motioning for Ethan to move closer. “That’s interesting.”

“Interesting my ass.” Ethan coughed out. “What are you schemers planning?”

“Nothing.” Jesse held his hands up defensively in front of him. “I just thought you should have it handy from now on.”

Ethan chuckled and shook his head back and forth. He couldn’t believe these fools. Actually, he could, and that was the even scarier part. He could believe them. He could easily believe that they would do something this silly. “Jesse…”

“Yes Ethan?” Jesse’s voice was light and there was a humor in his eyes that made Ethan chuckle again.

“I have something I need to ask you.” Ethan laughed when he saw Jesse’s face turn from excited to confused.

“I love you and all man, but I am not marrying you.” Jesse’s comment did it in for Ethan and he doubled over in laughter, his good hand going to his stomach as he pocketed the ring box with the other.

“I love you too Jesse,” He huffed out in between fits of laughter, “but that wasn’t my question.”

“Oh okay,” Jesse cupped his hands in front of him and waited, “continue then please.”

“Jesse,” Ethan reached out and clapped the man on the shoulder, offering him a soft yet sincere smile, “I was going to ask for your permission to ask Leanne to marry me.”

Jesse’s face lit up and tears pricked his eyes as he shook his head up and down, nodding his approval to the other man. “I would be delighted.” He offered, and his heart fluttered in his chest at the thought that this was really happening. Sure, they had all known it was coming. For over a month the Army doctor had been walking around with a dreamy look in his eyes and that damn ring in his possession. They had all waited with bated breath and every time their phones rang they were on pins and needles. It was coming, they just didn’t know when, but this, this moment right here, this meant it was really happening.

Ethan let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He had suspected that Jesse would say ‘yes’, he didn’t know why he wouldn’t. But there had always been that tiny part of him that felt like he wasn’t good enough for Leanne, and that if there was anyone who would disapprove, it would be Jesse. “Thank you.” He whispered softly, his hands going in front of him as the nerves started to settle in.

“Come here.” Jesse reached out and pulled the man into a tight hug, smiling to himself when Ethan hugged him back. He pulled back after a minute and shot the younger man a smile. “Now let’s get you out of here so that you can go ask that woman of yours to finally be your wife!”

Nodding his head, Ethan couldn’t agree more. He was finally ready. He knew that they had been building up to this. And he knew it was finally time. He just prayed that his nerves wouldn’t get the better of him between now and the end of her shift in four hours. He offered Jesse a smile and gestured for the man to lead him outside. “After you.”

Jesse chuckled as he lead him to the elevator and then to the parking deck. They stopped just outside the doors and Jesse reached forward to put his hands on Ethan’s arms. “I’ll be waiting for a phone call.” He smiled, and winked, before turning Ethan toward the approaching car.

Ethan just nodded his head again and offered the man one last smile before climbing in the passenger seat of Noa’s Challenger. Taking another deep breath he turned towards the red-head and offered her a smile. “Let’s do this.”

Noa let out a laugh before throwing the car back into gear and pulling away from the curb quickly. She was going to be damned if this man didn’t get home soon. He had a proposal to plan and all.


	19. A Pair of Pants and a Proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Well, here it is guys, the chapter you’ve all been waiting for... Ethan has a very important question for Leanne.  
> **Here we also have Ethan being a complete and utter dopey mess.

Ethan had forced Noa to take him to the store after leaving Angels, claiming that he needed a few things, his apartment bare of any food after his almost three weeks in the hospital. He had told her that she could stay in the car, but unfortunately for him, Noa was no fool, and she had insisted on going in with him. They had been about half way through their shopping trip when he asked Noa if he was doing this right. I mean, after all, he had never proposed to anyone before. Noa had laughed at him, but then she had threaded her arm through his and helped him finish his shopping. 

When they had made it back to Ethan’s apartment the red head had stayed long enough to help Ethan get everything inside, but then he had told her that he needed to do this on his own, and for once, the young girl had complied. She had kissed his cheek softly, telling him to call her if he needed anything, and then she had been gone.

He had stood in his empty apartment just staring at the walls of his living room for a good ten minutes before he finally got up the nerve to start prepping. He had started putting groceries away when he realized that he really needed to take a shower. And put clothes on. And do laundry. And lay out the flower petals and the candles. And make the bed. And his list went on and on and on. 

He had successfully taken a shower on his own. Thankful that the only thing he had to be careful of now was his cast. And once he was dried off he had thrown on the closest pair of boxers he could find, followed by the only clean pair of jeans he appeared to have. He had started sorting through the laundry next. Hoping to find a clean shirt that didn’t have a band emblem on it or smelled like motor oil. He had no luck though, and he had decided to wash his nicer stuff so that he had a variety of options when the time came. He had even gotten as far as making the bed, covering it in the rose petals Noa had insisted he buy. But then he had felt that twinge in his arm that was always a bad sign. He had tried to work through it, getting a load of laundry in the washer and getting it started before the pain became more than he could bare. After fighting off tears for the better part of an hour, he gave in, taking two of his pain pills and laying down on the couch, an old episode of some cop show on in the background.

That was how Leanne found him two hours later. His head had shifted to the side, the drool on his chin quite evident, even from the doorway. Letting out a soft chuckle Leanne made her way inside, locking the door quietly behind her. She eyed the man curiously, taking in his bare chest and loose fitting jeans. He had lost weight after everything he had been through, not that there was much there for him to lose to begin with, and it was hard seeing him look so small. She was never one to put much thought into looks, John hadn’t been ugly by any means, but he wasn’t really a looker either. Ethan on the other hand, well he was drop dead gorgeous, in every way possible. He was toned in all the right places, and his biceps had once been her favorite part of his body. But now, now he was almost a ghost of the man he had been three weeks ago. 

She felt tears prick in her eyes and she shook her head to clear her thoughts. Ethan was fine. He was just fine and he was laying right in front of her to prove it. She knew that he could rebuild all that muscle he had lost. And she had no doubts that as soon as he got the clear from the orthopedic doctor, that he would be back to his daily five mile runs. She smiled to herself at the image, him coming home all sweaty, dragging her still half asleep body into the shower with him. There was many a day where they had been late to work because of those damn runs of his. 

Speaking of showers, Leanne knew that she needed one, and judging by the silent snores coming from her sleeping boyfriend, she guessed he probably wouldn’t be joining her for this one. She moved herself into the bedroom, stopping dead in her tracks when she noticed the laundry all over the floor. There were pants piled on top of pants, underwear strewn everywhere, shirts stacked up almost to the top of the dresser.

“It looks like a fucking tornado blew through here.” She whispered, knowing that no one would hear her, but praying that that would somehow make her feel better about the giant mess on the normally pristine floor. Sighing to herself she made her way around the laundry and toward the dresser by the bathroom door. Pulling open the top drawer, she fished out a pair of underwear and grabbed one of his t-shirts from the stack on top. 

She turned to grab her lotion off the nightstand and that’s when she saw it. The rose petals on the bed. The unlit candles on the night stands and shelves. She let out a gasp, her hand going to her mouth, her lotion falling to the floor. She couldn’t believe the sight before her eyes. Ethan had never done something like this. I mean sure, he was a gentlemen, but straight romance was never his thing. He had bought her flowers a couple of times ‘just because’. And he had taken her to a few fancy dinners. But this, this was like something out of a romance novel. She wondered if maybe it had been an accident. Maybe in his drug induced state he had started doing weird stuff. She was hoping for that outcome anyway, because this, this was a bit bunch, even for her liking.

Sighing to herself she grabbed her bottle off the floor and headed for the bathroom, deciding that a shower would help clear her head and calm her nerves. She stayed under the warm water for probably longer than necessary, but this was her first real shower in almost four days, and she was going to treasure every minute of it. When the water started to turn cold, she turned off the tap and grabbed a towel, drying herself off quickly. She pulled on her underwear and then his shirt, before quickly running her brush through her wet hair. She shook her head in disbelief again as she walked past the bed, a small smile on her lips when she thought about just how long those rose petals would stay there if she had anything to say about it.

Ethan was still asleep in the same spot as before, his injured arm still resting flat on his stomach, his right arm dangling off the edge of the couch, and Leanne let another chuckle at how child like he looked in that very moment. Shaking her head, she made her way to the kitchen to make herself some coffee and when she rounded the corner and saw the mess on the counters she did a double take. There were plastic bags all over the floor, and groceries lined both counters of the small room. She turned towards the table in hopes of maybe being able to move some of the items there, but was shocked when she saw the giant bouquet of roses in the middle, candles sitting in a small circle around the clear vase. She let out a small gasp again, and she blinked back another round of tears. She didn’t know what Ethan was up to, but she was starting to get the feeling that she was going to be asked a very important question before the night was over.

Knowing that distraction was key, she turned back toward the counter and started putting away the items that she could. She had moved a few pots and pans back to their spot under the stove, and she had returned the plates and cups to their space in the overhead cupboard. She moved to the food next, carrying a few items at a time to the small pantry against the far wall. She had just picked up a box of spaghetti when she heard what she thought was the couch creak, but then there was silence, so she continued working.

“I had a plan you know.” Ethan’s voice startled Leanne and she almost dropped the box of spaghetti on the floor. Turning around, she was met with what was probably the sexiest, yet dorkiest, sight that she had ever seen. Ethan’s jeans were hung low on his hips and he was still without a shirt. She could barely make out the faded bruises on his abdomen and the cast on his left arm had been downgraded in size she had seen him yesterday. He was just clean shaven enough to look less like a homeless person, and his bed head was atrocious. But his eyes. Damn those eyes. They were sleepy and dark and she could’ve gotten lost in them right then and there.

“Did you now?” She asked softly, her arms crossing in front of her chest as she leaned back against the counter, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I was gonna make you dinner.” He whined, his shoulders slumping with his words, his gaze falling to the floor. “I got flowers and that wine that you like and I made the bed...”

“I saw.” Her voice grew softer when a realization of what was probably about to happen hit her. 

“But I had to take some pain meds, because,” He gestured down to his arm with a sigh, “you know?”

She nodded her head, her voice failing her and she took a deep breath as he got closer. She wanted to run. Far far away. But she also wanted to jump him. Right then and there. Against his kitchen counter. _It certainly wouldn’t have been the first time._

“I know.” She managed to force out. Her hands gripped the counter behind her as he continued walking. She wanted him to stop. To stay on the other side of the room. It was much safer with him over there. Instead of here. Right in front of her. Half naked and looking dreamier than she had ever imagined.

“You know,” He eyed her suspiciously as he moved closer, his eyes darkening just enough to send chills down her spine, “I’m finally wearing real pants.”

“I see that.” She whispered back, her voice husky, her hands tightening their grip against the granite once more. “Would you like me to take them off you?”

Ethan let out a snort, and she almost felt offended, but then her mind went back to a conversation they had had with all of their friends in Ethan’s hospital room a few nights ago, and she stopped breathing. This was really happening wasn’t it? Right here, right now? In his kitchen, on a Tuesday night, both of them half naked, him doped up on pain killers, her running on two hours of sleep. She felt her heart catch in her chest as he stopped directly in front of her, his good hand reaching out to cup her cheek. He bent down, pressing a gentle but passionate kiss to her lips, before pulling back.

“So now that I finally have real pants on,” He raised an eyebrow at her, his left hand going to his pocket, but stopping before it was inside, “we can take that trip down the aisle Jesse was talking about.”

Leanne let out a small laugh. He was good, real good, but she wasn’t going to be fooled by him, not this time. “Jesse’s an ass.”

Ethan let out a chuckle, the light in his eyes settling as he reached the rest of the way into his pocket, pulling out a black velvet box, and Leanne thought the world had surely stopped spinning around them. “I can’t exactly get on one knee, so you’re just gonna have to go with me on this one...” He took her left hand in his good right one, and squeezed tightly. “I love you Leanne. I love you more than I ever thought was possible. You’re my best-friend and I couldn’t imagine my life without you. When I arrived at Angels almost two years ago I was lost. I had seen so much death and so much tragedy and I didn’t know which way was up. But then you showed up. And you smiled at me. And that was it. I couldn’t believe that someone who had suffered so much worse than I had, could walk around with such beauty and grace. You never fail to make me realize that second chances are possible, and that sometimes, they can be even more beautiful than the first time around. I love you. I want to marry you and I want to have a home together. I want to have a family with you. Be it children or dogs or hamsters. I don’t care. I just want my happily ever after.” He took a deep breath and blinked back the tears in his eyes as he spoke, “I want you to have your happily ever after. And I want us to do it together.” Another deep breath, and his trembling hand was squeezing hers so tight he thought he might break her. “Leanne Marie Rorish, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you finally marry me?”

Leanne stared at him in disbelief. _Had this really just happened? Had the moment that she had known was on the brink for the last week really just happened?_ She couldn’t feel her body. Her hands were trembling, that much she could tell, and there were tears streaming down her face, but she couldn’t feel anything else. She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She tried again, and still nothing. Finally, she pulled her hand from his and covered her face with both hands, sobbing. 

She felt Ethan’s hand go to her arm, rubbing up and down gently as he spoke. “Leanne.” God he hoped he hadn’t just made a giant mistake. “Leanne...?”His question was softer than she expected, and she finally uncovered her eyes to look at him. 

“It’s too soon. Right?” Her voice cracked, and it was low and shaky, but she had to be sure. She had to get the words out there now just to be certain that this was really happening and that this was what they both wanted. “It’s only been a year...”

Ethan let out a chuckle and pulled her close, his injured hand resting on her hip, his other pocketing the ring box so that he could run his fingers through her hair. “I knew the moment I met you that this was gonna happen eventually.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead before resting his head there. “It was only a matter of time.”

“You’ve known for that long?” She shivered at the thought that she wasted all those precious moments trying to hate him. Trying to will him to go back to where he came from. “How did you know?”

Ethan smiled big and rubbed her neck gently. “Because,” he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips in between his words, “you’re the first person who’s never taken me to seriously.”

Leanne laughed, her hands moving from her sides to rest against his chest. “Ask me again.” She whispered softly, her eyes filling with tears of joy. 

Reaching into his pocket, Ethan pulled out the velvet box again, opening it to reveal the simplest, yet most beautiful ring Leanne had ever seen. He nudged her chin gently with his cast covered hand, his eyes catching hers as he smiled bright. “Marry me?”

“Yes.” Leanne’s voice was soft and Ethan almost didn’t hear her reply. 

Grinning from ear to ear he reached down and removed the ring from the box. Taking hold of Leanne’s left hand with his he slowly slide the ring onto the appropriate finger before holding her hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the spot right above the shiny new piece of jewelry. He gently let her hand fall from his and he cupped her face once more, kissing her deeply, his body pressing hers against the counter behind them. Leanne let out a moan, her hands going to run down his bare back, her leg moving to hook itself around his calf. 

Ethan smiled into the kiss, his good hand wandering under the hem of the shirt that she wore, dancing along the top of her panties. He knew what he wanted to do. And he was pretty sure that she wanted it too. But he pulled back and pressed his forehead to hers, their panting breaths doing little to subdue him. “I love you.” He whispered, his hand gripping her hip gently.

“I love you too.” Her voice was just as soft as she was and she ran her hands through his hair before pulling his head back down to hers. She kissed him hard, and when she felt his fingers slide under the waistband of her panties she let out a hiss against his soft lips.

“Bedroom?” As much as he wanted to take her right there on his kitchen counter, he didn’t know if his foot was quite ready for such an endeavor just yet.

Leanne let out a chuckle, her hands settling against his hips as she spoke. “But what about all those fancy flower petals you put everywhere?” 

Her voice was full of humor and Ethan let out a laugh as he reached down, settling his hands under her ass, lifting her up quickly. “You joke now.” He whispered, his teeth pulling at her bottom lip as he started moving them toward the bedroom. “You should’ve heard what Noa wanted me to do with them.”

A soft laugh left her lips and she kissed him hard, her fingers settling against his shoulder blades. She smiled when he reached behind her and flung the comforter to the floor, the rose petals on top be damned. He laid her down gently before settling himself between her legs with a smile. She eyed him curiously, her hands going to run down his chest, stopping at the button of his well-worn jeans. 

“Do I even want to know?” She asked softly, her fingers working quickly to undo the button and zipper, her hands going to his hips so that she could push the garment down.

He shook his head back and forth before burying his face in her neck. “No.” He whispered, pressing kisses against the smooth flesh. He felt her quiver under him when his hand wandered back under the waistband of her underwear, his fingers running over soft curls before finding her center. She whimpered as he teased her slowly, the lack of sexual contact between them over the past month probably meant this wouldn’t last long, but he wanted to at least make sure it was enjoyable.

After Ethan’s jeans had been tossed aside, Leanne wasted no time in removing his boxers as well. She threw them in the general direction of the bathroom, knowing he would want to put them back on later, and then returned her hands to his now naked ass. She moaned when he slid a finger inside of her, and she ran her hands up his back until they got to his head. She pulled his head down until their foreheads were touching, and she kissed him gently. He pulled away from the kiss after a minute, his head returning to it’s spot in the crook of her neck, and she moaned out his name when he bit down. 

Ethan’s hands quickly made work of her shirt, pulling it over her head in one swift motion, and he slid her panties down slowly, pressing kisses to her stomach and then her thighs and then her calves as he went. Once they were both naked he settled himself above her and pressed his forehead back against hers. 

“I love you.” He whispered softly, kissing her deeply before she had a chance to respond. He slid into her with ease and when she wrapped her legs around his waist and hooked her ankles behind his knees he let out a groan of pleasure. “Love you so so much.” He picked up his pace, his eyes never breaking contact with hers, and he smiled when she rested her hands on the back of his head.

“I love you more.” Her voice almost broke, and it took everything in him not to break down in tears right then and there. Instead, he kissed her, hard and passionate and deep and loving and when she tightened her fingers in his hair, he knew she was close. He thrust a little harder this time, his kisses deepening as his knees began to shake. He felt her start to tighten around him and he gripped her cheek gently, his fingers threading through the hair at the base of her neck as he kissed her senseless.

When they came together they both felt the world stop. And when she relaxed her hands against the nape of his neck, he let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. He pressed his forehead to hers once more and offered her a soft, dazed smile, and she returned it immediately. She ran her hands down his back and then up again, settling her left hand on his shoulder and her right one on his stubble covered cheek. The light shining in from the partially opened blinds hit the ring on her finger just right and she felt a sense of pride and enjoyment deep inside her that she hadn’t felt in over a decade.

“We’re getting married.” She whispered softly, her smile reflecting her joy back up at him. 

“We’re getting married.” He echoed back, his fingers running down her sweaty cheek to settle next to her lips. He smiled at her, the softest, sweetest, dreamiest smile yet, and Leanne fell in love all over again.


	20. Table for Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Well, here we have it, the end of the story! I hope you guys laughed and cried and hurt and loved as much as I did during this journey! This chapter is all about Team!Family, because let’s be honest, this couple would be nothing if it weren’t for them.

Ethan and Leanne had spent the rest of night, and most of the following day, making up for lost time. But when they finally emerged from the bedroom, Leanne had voiced her overwhelming desire to get out of the small apartment. They had agreed that waiting until dinner would be best, as they still had quite the pile of laundry to take care of, and had settled for eating ice cream for lunch. While the old Leanne would’ve scoffed at the Colonel’s eccentric eating habits, the new Leanne, didn’t mind so much. They had settled themselves on the couch in his living room with a pint of ice cream between them and they were half way through the carton, and a third of the way through the newest season of their favorite cooking show, when Leanne’s phone dinged loudly from the coffee table. 

Eyeing it suspiciously, Leanne questioned whether she really wanted to answer it right now. After all, she was supposed to be off work for the next six days. Turning to Ethan she raised an eyebrow, to which he just shrugged, digging his spoon back into the tub of Rocky Road, his eyes never leaving the screen in front of them. Figuring it was probably for the best not to leave whoever was on the other end hanging she turned the phone over and was shocked to see Angus’ number flashing back up at her. Sighing to herself she answered the call, putting the phone to her ear quickly.

“Hello?” Her voice was soft, and she was appreciative of Ethan for pausing the show, knowing that he hated when she talked over it, just as much as she hated missing it.

“Hi.” Was all the voice on the other end said and she had to let out a chuckle. She knew Angus must’ve drawn the short straw, and she almost felt bad for the kid.

“You drew the short straw didn’t you?” She asked calmly, and she let out a small laugh when Ethan turned to her with a bewildered look in his eyes.

“Yeah.” She heard Angus let out a sigh on the other end and she nodded her head in understanding. “They wanted me to call and see how you guys were doing. You know? Both of you…”

Leanne knew exactly what he meant. They wanted to know if they had gotten engaged last night. She wasn’t stupid. She knew exactly what her insane friends were up too.

“We’re good Angus.” She paused, offering Ethan a cheesy grin as she spoke. “What about you? Are you okay?”

“I don’t know Dr. Rorish.” His voice was flustered, and she could almost see the younger man squirming on the other end of the phone. “Am I okay?”

Leanne let out a full blown laugh at Angus’ antics and she knew that Ethan probably thought she was insane. “I tell you what Angus. Ethan and I are going to dinner tonight, say around 7:00? Why don’t you guys join us? We’ll talk about how we’re all doing, together.”

The young resident let out a breath on the other end of the line and Leanne chuckled lightly. “7:00 it is.”

“I’ll text you.” She said quickly, hanging the phone up before anyone else could jump on the call. She turned her gaze back to Ethan and laughed at the look on his face. Taking another spoonful of ice cream for herself she let out another chuckle before speaking, her eyes returning to the show as he pressed play. “Angus drew the short straw.”

Ethan let out a laugh that mirrored hers, and leaned back against the couch, his arm going around her shoulders softly. “Of course he did.” His comment was gentle and Leanne knew that he understood just what she was saying. “So, I take it we’re not dining alone tonight?”

Shaking her head back and forth Leanne settled herself against his side, tucking her bare legs beside her on the couch, her hand resting on his thigh. “Nope.” She smiled softly at his chuckle and relaxed against him, her attention returning to the show on the TV.

—

They had made a point of arriving at the restaurant a little early, their nerves getting the best of them. It’s not that they weren’t excited about their engagement, in fact, they were beyond excited. However, telling people hadn’t exactly been on the top of their to-do list at the moment, so the idea of having to do so, and so soon, was daunting. Leanne had changed her outfit at least six times before they left the house and Ethan had forgotten his wallet, twice. Finally, they had both stopped and taken a few deep breaths before realizing that this would probably be one of the easiest things they had ever had to do as a couple. 

Ethan saw Noa and Mario enter the small Italian restaurant first. And judging by the smile on Noa’s face, there was no announcing necessary for the young girl. She had pulled Ethan into a bear hug in the lobby, and luckily, she had held back on her tears until she got to Leanne. The two had stood in the small room they had been given awing over the ring for a good five minutes before Ethan and Mario even dared to step foot through the door. Mario had engulfed Leanne in a tight hug the second he was close enough and she had hugged him back just as tight.

The four of them had been sitting for a few minutes when Rollie and Will entered together. Ethan had stood to walk them in, but Will had waved him off, stopping at the bar for a drink before coming back to see the couple. Leanne hadn’t wasted any time, and she had jumped up to show Rollie the ring before he had even gotten his bearings about him. He had hugged her tight too, and when he shook Ethan’s hand, he felt the gratitude in the shake. Will had just chuckled as Leanne held her left hand out to him, and he had hugged her tightly as well. He and Ethan had shared a look, and Ethan extended his hand warmly, to which the ER director had taken it without hesitation. 

Angus was the next to arrive, and Leanne had greeted him at the door, pulling him into a bear hug and apologizing to him for all the bullshit the others must have put him through earlier. Angus laughed it off, but the color in his cheeks told them all a different story. He had hugged Ethan loosely, and the older man thanked the younger one for his patience after said phone call. Mario had clapped them both on the back and made some joke about suck-ups. Angus had flipped him off when he thought no one was looking.

Leanne had gotten up to wait outside for the last member of their little family. And she was starting to get nervous when he didn’t arrive by 7:00. She turned her attention back inside, watching as the rest of the group laughed carelessly with each other, the relaxing atmosphere setting all of their nerves at ease. She caught Ethan’s eyes through the small window of the room and he offered her a soft smile, which she immediately returned. She couldn’t believe that the man on the other side of the wall was her fiancé. That she would be marrying him someday. It all still seemed so unreal.

“There’s my girl.” She heard Jesse’s voice from behind her and she turned to look at him immediately. He offered her a smile and she quickly cleared the few steps between them, her arms going around his neck tightly. 

“Oh Jesse.” She whispered against his shoulder, squeezing him tightly. She smiled when the man hugged her back, his hands rubbing up and down her spine.

“How was it?” He whispered, pulling back to hold her arm’s length. Leanne offered her best-friend a look, one that Jesse knew all too well, and he let out a chuckle. “That good huh?”

Dropping her arms from his neck, she brought her left hand up for him to inspect. “This is the first time we’ve left the bed since yesterday afternoon.”

Jesse rolled his eyes in response. These damn kids were going to be the death of him. He eyed the ring curiously and he decided that it looked much more beautiful on her hand than it did in the box. And he wanted her to know that. “Looks better on you than it did in that damn box.”

Leanne’s mouth dropped open and her eyes grew wide at Jesse’s statement. “You knew about this?” She poked at his chest with her already outstretched hand, her other going to her hip with a sigh.

“You kidding?” Jesse stepped forward, turning her body gently and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “Romeo over there asked for my permission first. Can you believe that?”

Letting out a soft sigh Leanne shook her head, a smile gracing her lips as she caught sight of the man in question as they made their way inside. “Believe it or not, I can.”

“Can what?” Came Rollie’s voice from across the room, moving to pull Leanne’s chair out for her as Ethan and Jesse embraced tightly.

“Jesse asked if I could believe that I could ever be this lucky.” She felt the tears prick her eyes and she reached out for her wine glass, raising it in toast like fashion, and she smiled when everyone turned to face her. “And I told him that I could believe it.”

“To luck.” Noa said softly, her eyes catching those of Leanne’s from across the table as she rose her glass as well.

“To second chances.” Rollie added, bringing his glass up off of the soft white linen of the table cloth.

“To good times.” Mario said, his eyes moving from person to person around the table, eyeing his family curiously over his glass.

“To good friends.” Will chimed in, raising his glass as well, a small smile on his face.

“To a table for 8.” Angus added jokingly, his glass moving from the table to the air in front of him.

“To happily ever after.” Jesse added, his eyes shifting from his best-friend to her new fiancé lightly, his glass coming up in front of him as well.

“To forever and always.” Ethan whispered softly, taking Leanne’s hand gently in his as he too raised his glass.

“To forever and always.” Leanne whispered back, their glasses clinging together over the table, the tears of joy falling from their eyes, smiles as big as ever on their faces. “To forever and always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **There will be a sequel to this at some point, not sure when I’ll get it posted because I have another story that I want to get out there first, but it will come eventually! Stay tuned :)

**Author's Note:**

> *Comments make me happy!


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